Trails, please, and hold the tears

The Duck! City as seen from just above the Embudo dam.

I’ve been in something of a metaphorical rut lately, bikewise, so today I thought I’d get in an actual rut as a change of pace.

The Voodoo Nakisi and I took the foothills trails south to the Hilldale Loop and back, and real, physical ruts there were aplenty. I hadn’t been down that way since November 2021, and it seems weather and traffic have done some remodeling in my absence.

Is that gravel or dirt? The UCI Gravel Committee is never around
when you really need it.

The weather was brisk, and there weren’t a lot of people out and about, which was fine. The trails and I were getting reacquainted, and we’re both old enough to do without chaperones. Nobody needs to see me busting a move, especially if it ends with a busted bone.

My attention has been known to wander, and occasionally I find myself riding the trail in my mind, not the one under my wheels. This caused me to perform a trick dismount once in Bibleburg’s Palmer Park, when the mental and physical trails differed by a couple crucial meters after some unheralded renovations by the trail fairies. The bike went down, but I did not.

Today I kept the pace moderate and the autopilot off, and my miscues left neither paint nor DNA behind. I have an appointment with the dermatologist coming up and I don’t need any quips about leaving skin removal to the professionals.

Speaking of getting skinned, here’s hoping that the Jan. 6 committee gets to hang a big, greasy, orange hide on its wall now that the Supremes have declined to pull The Very Stable Genius’s fat out of the fire he started.

Ordinarily I don’t approve of trophy hunting, but some heads just beg to be mounted. The National Archives taxidermist better have all of his shots and a hazmat suit.

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11 Responses to “Trails, please, and hold the tears”

  1. JD Says:

    Two quick and uneducated (per usual) thoughts on my part:
    If cars can be driver-less, why not bikes? Just think, you could simply mount the saddle and enjoy the ride.
    Just had some basal cell carcinoma removed from my left upper ear tip and some “donor skin” taken from beneath the ear to replace it. i mentioned that the sagging skin beneath my jaws might be useful; but the doc said “Nice try! Heard that before”
    Skin grafts are finicky and this one seems to be doing OK; but when the weather’s 24F and you can’t put your beanie over that ear, it does keep you awake.
    Re the photo: Nice! Dirt!!!!!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I think that’s the Next Big Thing: Driverless, battery-powered e-cargo gravel bikes with tubeless tires, hydraulic brakes, electronic shifting, and a 1×50 drivetrain.

      Did some remodeling on you, did they? Last time they got hold of me they used a melon baller on my right cheek, just below the eye. Looked like some literary critic shot me with a .22LR. The doc sez to Herself afterward she sez, “I bet he won’t come back here again.”

      • Shawn Says:

        When the body shop mechanic finished up with the reamer on my port side noggin, the docs asked if they could bring in Joel Sartore to take a few photos for further study and education. I agreed only so long as I got before and after copies. Yikes, they did some fine plastic work on my behalf. I think my warranty has since expired but none of the stuffing has fallen out yet.

        I’ve had the pleasure of a family visitor come in to town so I might have a little time now to do some non-gravel riding. I might use one of my non-gravel bikes.

  2. khal spencer Says:

    I’ve had a few instances of the trail or road in my mind taking precedence over the one under the front wheel. Usually, a quaint ass over handlebars is the result. But in a couple of occasions, I ended up explaining it to the ER doctors and paying the down on a couple of the surgeon’s kid’s college payments The receipts can be seen in the surgery scars. On one other occasion I screeched to a stop a few feet short of a cliff after looking down and pondering a minor bike readjustment. If I were Wile E Coyote, I would have been hanging in mid air waiting for someone like Patrick to sketch in the next frame.

    One has to watch out for those metaphorical moments.

  3. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Hope the skin doc tells you what you want to hear. If they say “it’s normal for your age” tell the it’s normal for your checks to bounce. Wait, we don’t write checks anymore, write? Good on your for getting out on the bikey bike. We are hiking and picnicking Friday at Kartchner Caverns State Park. You know, 300 calories out, then 800 in. By the way, that cave is a treasure. It’s a living cave, and the tours are arranged to keep it that way including controlled lighting and airlocks.

  4. Pat O’Brien Says:

    By the way, that’s another clever title.

    As far as the dumpster fire goes, the dummies in my state gave him a little more fuel earlier this week. But, when rudy and syd start singing, maybe he will finally go away. But, the emperor’s lie continues to live inside the beltway. Where’s the Jedi when you need them?

  5. NJgreyhead Says:

    Apparently, subpoenas aren’t what they used to be. It is looking like they can be ignored in this time of the Great Ignorance.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I seem to recall that when The Authorities invited me to participate in their inquiries I was generally compelled to accept the invitation.

      But then I’m real old, and I’ve never been rich.

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      You ain’t rich and neither am I. We can’t afford an attorney to contest a supoena and tie it up in protracted court battles and appeals. Rich folks shuck and jive; regular folks go to jail.

  6. NJgreyhead Says:

    I remember after the Watergate dust settled, it was said to have proven we are a government of laws, not men. I’m hoping that is still the case, but I have my doubts.

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