“Go ahead, open that door and reach in here. Make my day.”

It’s Little Old Lady Day here at El Rancho Pendejo, and each of us has a vieja to wrangle.

Herself gets to take Herself the Elder out for a salon cut and perhaps some medium-light snackage. And I, as you can see, got to take Miss Mia Sopaipilla to the vet for her regular checkup.

I thought I’d scored the easy duty. But as you know, I will never be smart.

Shortly after we arrived at the vet’s another customer roared in with a pair of infernal hounds, one of whom was going full Baskerville. This did not improve Mia’s mood — she does not care for cat carriers, cars, doctors, or dogs — and by the time a vet popped round to attend to her, well, she was puffed up to about six times normal size and hissing like a vampire who was a couple quarts low.

So, instead of the simple drive-by doctoring I had been expecting, I found myself choosing between rescheduling (and perhaps sedation) or letting Miss Mia chill out for a while in the felines-only ward, to see if she might turn back into a mild-mannered elderly cat instead of Bastet with a Hulk overlay and a side of rabies. I picked Door No. 2 and headed for home.

Now I’m almost 100 percent certain that if I get all kitted up for what looks to be the last decent day for cycling before what firefighters and weatherpersons are predicting will be “at least four days of wind, dryness and hot temperatures,” why, that is when the phone will ring. It will be the vet, who will tell me that she is off to Las Vegas because it’s safer to fight fires than Miss Mia.

Looks like a hot time in the old town no matter how you slice it.

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9 Responses to “TGIF?”

  1. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Poor Mia. We gave Duffy a bath and haircut yesterday, and he hasn’t talked to us for 24 hours.

  2. Libby Says:

    Just heard an update on NPR about 100 hours of hell coming up for you. So sorry to hear that news and good luck!
    A towel placed over the carrier in the car and in the waiting room is very helpful for most cats. Additionally it keeps sun out of their eyes which can be a problem in the car.
    Also, most but not all cats respond very well to Feliway spray- cat pheromes .
    It is not sprayed on the cat or bedding but around the carrier. Some vets use it in treatment rooms. A light spritz around the carrier 20 minutes before loading is often recommended but if that’s not possible (or gives a cat an unwanted preview) a light spritz once kitty is ensconced.
    I do have a cat that might be agitated by the spray but he seems to have bad motion sickness or such severe anxiety that the Feliway doesn’t work. Otherwise , it has completely quieted and calmed my cat(s) over many years.

  3. Shawn Says:

    That’s a failing of the vet’s office. Sedation is a poor choice for a routine check up. I have the fortune of my vet being open on the weekends so I schedule my visits for early Sunday mornings, a nice quiet time. Animals don’t like going to the vet so why should they be confronted suddenly with other loud and raging animals. Could you imagine going to the doctor’s office where Mike Tyson is pissed off looking to pound something and Dennis Hopper is walking around all wound up shouting about going all Blue Velvet in a minute. Oh, and the real scary thing would be Bette Midler over in the corner ready to let loose on the situation. Yikes, get me out of there.

    I hope that as I submit this Miss Sopaipilla is home enjoying the afternoon and that you forgive her for the cuts and scrapes that she may have imparted in your general swiping direction.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Yeah, this veterinary outfit usually performs better. It was a Friday, and I didn’t know this particular doc, so the whole program had some wobble in it from the get-go. I decided to roll back down there and collect Miss Mia, who will see her usual doc next week.

      If this vet was askeered of Miss Mia, it’s a good thing she never met Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment). He was 16 pounds of “Fuck you” with paws that looked like welder’s gloves studded with X-Acto blades and fangs that Nosferatu would’ve envied. I miss that big ol’ puddy tat.

      Turkish the Large and Long

      • Click here to embiggen.

    • Herb from Michigan Says:

      Well Shawn you most certainly put a strong visual on Mia’s possible perception of things. Tyson, Hopper and Midler. Throw in Ralph Fiennes and you have the golf foursome from hell.

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