Lemons and lemonade

Looks like another scorcher out there today.

El Presidente made it to Fanta Se OK, so I guess nobody stole his car during his brief sojourn in The Duck! City.

It must ease the mind to have a coterie of swole dudes with earpieces riding shotgun on your road trips. Oh, they’re not as heavily armed as our typical teenage tosspot swerving a stolen Honda Civic through The Big I, one hand on the horn and the other out the window, its extended middle digit expressing his fervent desire that all who see it enjoy a ride of a different sort altogether.

But these are trying times. One must make do. When life delivers lemons, one asks one’s SS compañero in the back seat, “Fuck I want with these lemons? Pass me that rocket launcher, Slick, I want to clear a lane.”

I bet José was rocking the A/C all the way, too. Sure, it kills the gas mileage, which must drop that big black presidential pimpmobile down to meters per gallon from miles. But hey, it’s not like he’s whipping out his Visa card between gunfights at the Maverik station.

“This tank’s on my boy the Mad Dog. Sure, he’s on the dole, but his old lady makes fat stacks helping Strangelove find the owner’s manual for the Doomsday Machine and whatnot. Trust me, they can afford it.”

There are a lot of federal paws in the old Dog’s pocket these days as José tries to piss out actual and metaphorical fires from Canoncito to Kyiv. And for his troubles people from right and lift smirk that he’s a senile old fool who should be wetting himself in a Home somewhere, his greatest ambition to cop a feel of a plump caregiver.

Lemonade from lemons, folks. José’s finest quality may be that he is not Adolf Twitler. Just think about that pendejo, completely off the leash in a second term, doing whatever struck his fancy between inhaling Happy Meals and cheating at golf.

Herself and I were talking about José, Adolf, and the Hilldebeast just last night, and my old Pueblo Chipseal colleague Milan Simonich must’ve been reading our minds when he wrote this “Ringside Seat” column for The New Mexican:

To date, Biden’s greatest accomplishment is saving a nation from another four years of Trump, who somehow maintained a political base after kowtowing to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

That sad part for America and for Biden is that he didn’t run for president in 2016. He would have trounced Trump in that election. In turn, Trump’s corruption would have been restricted to his business deals.

The Democrats, bound to blind faith and political dynasties, nominated Hillary Clinton in 2016. She had just as many negatives as Trump.

Clinton was the wrong choice for the Democratic Party but the right matchup for Trump.

Clinton became the first Democratic presidential nominee to lose Michigan and Pennsylvania since 1988. Those two states were key in providing Trump with his victory in the Electoral College. Clinton won the popular vote, which became a meaningless statistic.

Biden probably became president four years too late to do his best work. He’s not as quick or convincing as he once was.

He’s also not Trump. That’s reason for hope in a fiery season of discontent.

Sure, we can do better. We can always do better, and should. But we’re gonna have to work at it.

“Grab an oar, Skeeter, and put your back into it. We cain’t all of us be philosopher-kings, and this Ship of State don’t row itself.”

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12 Responses to “Lemons and lemonade”

  1. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Joe was the best an ignorant electorate would allow. If dumpster gets in again, I hope his base likes him because he will stay for the remainder of his miserable life. Dumpster jr and the stepford wife circling like buzzards around a almost dead tub of lard. Of course one will take over, and it might be jr since ivanka is under the entertainment tonight bus.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      It’s mesmerizing to watch half the electorate slamming a hand in the car door over and over and over again.

      “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

      “’Cause it feels so good when it stops hurtin’.”

  2. Shawn Says:

    When disembarking from a megatanker size manure scow like the SS Melania, a person unfortunately needs to pass through the unappealing wharf and port area of change in order to move on toward better environs. The docks may smell and the longshoreman insulting but the corner diners offer better service than the onboard wait staff directed by Vlad the pretender.

    In the future we need to see that our cruise is aboard something along the lines of a modern Alcyone and avoid the hucsters trying to steer (herd) us down the ramp onto the “mine all mine” sweeper the MV Mira DogO.

    Be sure to buy your cruise tickets now boys and girls. With prices as they are it may cost a lot more if we delay until 2024.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Reminds me of Bill Burr’s bit about how, if he were Dictator, he would solve the population problem by sinking cruise ships. There’s never a submarine around when you need one, huh?

  3. peterwpolack Says:

    Your observations are spot-on: Clinton was vastly more intelligent , experienced, and competent than T-Rump. She lost because she was HATED for various personal reasons. And it’s true that while Biden is on the declining side of his game, he was the necessary choice to avoid a dictatorship and yes, it was too bad he didn’t run in 2016 because he would have preempted the four year shit show we couldn’t turn off.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      The Donks managed to field a candidate that even Donks disliked. I wonder how many of the party faithful stayed home rather than pull the lever for The Hilldebeast. Ah, well, hindsight is always 20-20, que no?

      • khal spencer Says:

        Michael Moore talked about the “tired vote” of people like me who dragged our asses to the polls but didn’t enthusiastically drag half a dozen others along with us. My best advice to people was “Would you prefer President Donald Trump?”.


        • Shawn Says:

          Yes, we have failed to bring along those other apathetic voters. During my recent May 17 primary, only just over 30% of registered voters voted, and that’s in a state with effective mail-in voting. It’s not surprising that we get what a large portion of the voting citizenry does not show up to vote for or against.

          I paralleled Khal’s voting in 2016 thinking that we would need to watch at least four more years of Clinton escapades. The nightmare soon ensued.

          I’m not as harsh on Biden as a lot of people, but he was the much better of the two not-so-ideal candidates for leadership.

          I hope greatly that the GOP is able to put forth a real candidate in 2024 that if were to be elected, will give the office the professionalism that it deserves. But based on the criticisms they have of those progressives in their own party, I don’t believe they will field a candidate that I will be able to respect.

          Gray, drizzly wet and cool up here right now. It’s quite pleasant when thinking of the heat and fire danger that really could be occurring.

  4. khal spencer Says:

    Michael Moore called it in 2016 in his “Five Reasons Trump Will Win” piece. I had a feeling he was spot on, based on my own loathing of Billary and her quarter million dollar a pop secret talks to Wall Street. I voted for Bernie in the primary and held my nose in November and voted for Clinton. I sat up that night and watched the country turn red, went to bed, and woke up to Trump’s acceptance speech. Was hoping it was a nightmare. Sure was, and lasted four years.

    As much as an optimist as I am (cough, gag), I am almost convinced the Donks will fuck it up in 2024 and the GOP base will again throw its trust behind an incompetent blowhard who tried to overthrow the government.

    Drink the good wine first and stockpile the ammo. Springtime for Trump, anyone?

  5. Herb from Michigan Says:

    When I gladly voted for Joe the Biden it was mostly because I knew full well that the weak and feckless Senate would continue to be troublesome. After watching Bush 1&2 and then tRump fester the Surprise! Court, which does more to destroy our freedoms than any elected yegg, it dawned on me that the best use of the Oval Office is to NOT operate on We The Patient but to simply stop the goddamn bleeding. I know this is a non PC metaphor but if you let your lawn grow to be a foot high you don’t whack it down to normal height all at once. You set the cut first at 10, then go again at 8 and so forth all the while raking up your trimmings. Anyone that expects big progressive reforms quickly after what Rethuglicans have done over the years is smoking the drapes.

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