Erection Day

“Bad morning, Mr. O’Grady. We trust your wait was unpleasant
and overlong. Sauron will see you now.”

Looks like Mordor out there, doesn’t it?

High cloudiness robbed us of our full moon/total lunar eclipse this morning, and the Repugs will take everything else this evening, if you hew to the conventional wisdom.

Kevin Drum, who is a reasonable fellow for a lefty blogger, argues from time to time that the United States is a center-right country and that Democrats “need to moderate if they want to win over centrist voters.”

Maybe. But I think the Donks have been trying to be Repug Lite for a while now, to no particular purpose, and no matter how far they tiptoe to the right, they will always be at least one long goosestep behind.

“You got to put the kibble over where the slow dogs can get some,” as Roy Blount Jr. advised in “Why It Looks Like I Will Be the Next President of the United States, I Reckon.”

And the Donks do, bless their hearts. But it’s generally a sprinkle of some vegan non-GMO Oregon Tilth Certified Organic small-batch free-range hemp kibble, in a bespoke ceramic bowl, with 10 percent of the profits divided among Planned Parenthood, PETA, and the ACLU. And the marketing thereof — why this is a good thing and not just a stone saucer full of sawdust and spider webs — is polysyllabic and ponderous and even harder to swallow than the chow.

So the slow dogs bite the hand that feeds them, and then they scamper over to where the loud fella with the red tie is th’owin’ the raw meat on the ground.

Well sir, before long the slow dogs aren’t feeling so good and the national yard is a monument to canine intestinal distress and the loud fella with the red tie has wandered off somewhere to holler into a microphone about how everything’s gone to shit and the libs are to blame.

And so the libs trudge into the national yard with shovels and bags, clean up the mess and doctor the slow dogs while the loud fella with the red tie hollers at them through a bullhorn from the other side of the fence because that’s where the shit isn’t.

And before you can say “FREE DUMB!” the only thing any of the mutts can think about is how good that raw meat tasted.

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13 Responses to “Erection Day”

  1. carl duellman Says:

    Our newly minted passports showed up in the mail yesterday. Must be some kind of omen.

  2. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Well, you said it buddy. It’s erection day so somebody is going to get screwed. Now throw me a sirloin son, and don’t me make ask again.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    If we are a center right nation, then we Dems are in trouble. Matt Yglesias says pretty much what Kevin Drum says (link below). I’ve been called a DINO and worse and shit, I generally support most of the plank such as abortion rights, spending more on education, universal access to health care, voting and civil rights, etc. I even had the pleasure of getting tossed over a pickup truck while a picket line captain. I part company with the gun ban Dem stampede in favor of some sort of licensing system to make gun ownership a little more of a serious issue. NYS for a long time had a may issue handgun registration system but it was highly political. In rural or Republican counties it was no big deal as long as you got 3 people to vouch for you as being sane (somehow I convinced three people, all cops, that I was sane). NYC had a system of “no issue” where if you were rich, you could chum up with the police and courts and get a gun permit and shoot someone on 5th Ave and get away with it. Which is why the Supremes shot down NYS’s gun law. It was badly misused by the powers that be.

    Back to Yglesias.

    I do think we need to revise the tax code and other stuff so we stop shoveling money and resources up to the top few percent and leave the general public poor, dumb, and clueless. We also need to figure out how to provide useful lives to people who have been replaced by outsourcing, automation, AI, and all those other things that replaced union scale jobs.

    But we all remember what Larry’s wife said. People vote against their best interests. Early and often.

    Let’s see what the results of this erection, er, election, bring us.

  4. Pat O’Brien Says:

    Appropriate song for today?

  5. khal spencer Says:

    Looks like Charlie Cunningham is in really bad shape. Ugh.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Shit. I haven’t been checking in with Her Batship lately. Grim news indeed. Poor Charlie’s really been through the wringer. And it hasn’t been a casual spin for Jacquie, either. Seven years as a caregiver is a long ride on a hard saddle.

  6. carl duellman Says:

    watched this yesterday. beautiful harmonies.

  7. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Here in the Mitten State it was 64 unexpected degrees post election day and perfect for a quick 16 mile ride. Maybe…just maybe, all is not grim and rotten. Our three intrepid women leaders got the electoral nod despite a massive onslaught, death threats and other assorted Rethuglican mischief. We retained our Democratic Governor, Attn Gen and Sec of State who are all tRump’s worst nightmare. Lord I’d love to lock him in a vault with them for 30 minutes. There would be nothing left of him but a few teeth and of course the some stray orange hair. My best wishes for those of you in the southwest waiting this fekker out.

  8. DownhillBill Says:

    NPR tonight followed up on their coverage of the Great Red Wave no-show with a story on the first actual Rainbow Wave. Warms my flinty little heart to see the R’s stuck in their chosen cesspool of bigotry, at least a little of the time. Fingers crossed regarding the unsettled congressional spoils.

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