Herself and I were enjoying the usual weekly quail-spotting ride through High Desert and Sandia Heights yesterday when another cyclist caught up to us and we began chatting, as cyclists do.
It being The Duck! City, we found ourselves collecting one of those odd tales that seem to be included in every random encounter with a stranger.
After discussing the beautiful almost-fall weather, other places we had lived, and the critters we had seen, our new riding buddy told us about a neighbor who objected strenuously to hikers tramping along the arroyo that snakes along behind their houses.
So much so, he said, that one day she hid in the scrub with a Louisville Slugger and took a little vigorous batting practice on one of them.
Now, I’ve ridden this arroyo a time or two, or one very much like it in the general vicinity, and I’ve never seen any signs, placards, fencing, or other indication that it was private property. Which I don’t believe it is.
Nonetheless, I told him I’d keep my eyes peeled henceforth.
“Watch out for an old bat with a bat,” he advised.
Mad Blog Media 
I think a lawyer might term this an ‘unattractive nuisance’.
A title I have been awarded many times. Many, many of them. I should make a T-shirt. But then again, why bother? It’s so obvious, and at first glance, too.
A T shirt might be a nice way to sidle back into cartooning(part time, of course- we’re no spring chickens).
At least I got an OGWGFIW jersey while I could.
Well done indeed. The O’Grady family thanks you.
I have three — two originals and one v2.0. Voler kept producing them for me for a while, but finally dropped all their underperforming weirdo-wear side hustles, which nicked me in the bottom line. I also offered T-shirts for a while, but they never did as well as the jerseys.
I have a few pics of various gravitationally challenged brethren wearing the Old Guy kit on rides, but alas, that was in the Before-Time, when people still had a vestigal sense of humor.
I had one of each version, and I wore one out. I think Khal got one, and Andy got the other. I think I bought Andy another one when he dropped a bunch of weight. It almost always sparked a conversation at sag stops.
Given it is Albuquerque, lucky the lady had a bat.
If the area were Portland, OR and Babette Ruth was warming up on passing trail users, I’d make the guess that the route might be the Springwater corridor bike path. Some residents-in-limbo there have drug and, or mental health issues that can affect their territorial relationships with other visitors through the area.
The Los Angeles River bikeway is filled with tents right up to the edge of the bike path. Having humanity with a tenuous grasp on reality that close proximity to speeding bikes makes me take other routes
Back when B-burg was making the national news for its burgeoning homeless population it was samey-same. Countless raggedy-ass tents and homemade shelters lining Monument and Fountain creeks, which provided shade, concealment, running water, and close proximity to government and private social services downtown.
Also, it was right next to the main north-south bike path, which became a freeway for the unhoused pushing loaded bikes, shopping carts, and whatnot. It could be a harrowing experience for the recreating hordes of Lycroids on $10K wonderbikes.
Here in The Duck! City the homeless likewise line the bike paths, which tend to wind through light industrial/commercial zones alongside diversion channels. There seems to have been some campaign to croak tent camping, and during my last ride along the North Diversion Channel Trail between UNM and Balloon Fiesta Park I saw zero tents but a few folks camping rough using bags, rags, or not much of anything atall atall.
Is it an urban legend or the real deal? That is the question. The first is humorous. The second is assault with a deadly weapon. Arroyos are almost always public property. I would throw a baseball at her, fast ball center of mass, and see what she can do! Is she ready for the majors?
Whenever I’m out and about on two wheels (or two feet) I make note of any good-sized rocks and/or sticks I may need to employ in a pinch.
If I’m aboard one of the Somas I keep an old-school aluminum Zéfal frame pump slung under the top tube. Ain’t no baseball bat, but I figure it’s good for one solid swat to someone’s chops if need be.
That old expression. People are stupid. Some day that nice lady is going to need to have that bat removed surgically. It is Albuquerque….
The Santa Fe River Trail is right near our house and I sometimes use it to get over to Whole Paycheck via the Acequia and Rail Trails. Some developer put up condos with the backs of the building virtually flush with the trail edge (thank you, you fuckers in Land Use Management), and the condo people put up a big QUIET PLEASE sign facing the trail. You can imagine what The Midnight Scribblers put on that sign. Talk about hubris: build right on a trail and then piss and moan about trail users enjoying themselves. Its not like Radio Raheem lives here but I think we need to do a reenactment behind those condos.
Somehow I ended up with three of the original design Old Guys jerseys. I guess one musta been from Pat O’Brien. Also have one of the red, black, and white ones and a long sleeve fleece lined yellow one.
A similar situation as one in Jolly Olde, except this was a towpath adjacent to a canal and also a designated cycle route that someone took exception to the person riding their bike on. Karens are everywhere, and even when they aren’t this level of violent they’re annoying.
When I want to chill a little, I will watch an episode of “Cruising the Cut.” It’s a youtube channel about life on a narrow boat and the canal system in Jolly Olde.