I am a creature of habit.
We all have our little routines. Spontaneity, first thing in the morning? No, thank you, please. Predictability is what’s wanted before coffee.
So I arise at stupid-thirty, since that’s how we roll around here. Dress in the dark, because one day this will not be optional. Visit the bathroom. Greet Herself and Miss Mia Sopaipilla. Tidy up Miss Mia’s bathroom and give her a vigorous massage on The Chair of Love.
And finally, make coffee.
Thus fortified, I usually scan the headlines to inspect humanity’s latest self-inflicted wounds. But lately that feels like rubbernecking at an inner-city ER. Let’s start with something light, shall we?
Jaysis. Even the weather report is all like, “We have good news and bad news.” The good news is that yesterday Herself and I took an afternoon stroll in shorts and T-shirts. The bad news is that high-temperature records are dropping like staffing levels at USAID and if the current precip trend continues we’re likely to be drinking our own wee-wee by March instead of August.
At this point a second cup of coffee is indicated. Black, hold the wee-wee.
Check the email? No joy there. Evil tidings, in fact. Avert the eyes.
Toast, then. With butter and jam. Also, and too, oatmeal, with banana, pecans, cinnamon, brown sugar, maple syrup. Black tea to give the coffee some backup. Play ball with Miss Mia.
Time for The Times? Y’think? And a-one, and a-two, annnnnd. …
Gods above and below!
Maybe I’ll just go back to bed.
Mad Blog Media 
Thank dog for good oatmeal, coffee, and maple syraple. Well, the maple syraple might cost more next month if Justin doesn’t properly kiss the ass next month. One must have just the right suction, placement, and duration to convince the orange one to grant mercy to the 51st state. When will someone tell this windbag to go pound sand up his ass?
Now that the front of my pants is wet again, at first I thought Mia was wearing the “cone of shame.”. Glad it wasn’t that. Duffy us going through a tough period of geezerness right now. He couldn’t get out of his bed yesterday morning so off to the vet we go. Diagnosis is chronic osteoarthritis with a side of two knees slipping in and out of their grooves. Pain meds, NSAIDS, for the rest of his time with us. His moving around today, eating, drinking, pissing and shitting with no indication of pain. So, here we go. At 15 trips around the sun, quality of his remaining time is what we are concerned with.
Ah, bummer. These fuzzy little friends of ours grow old just like we do, only faster.
Miss Mia is on the verge of 18 (that’s 84 in human years), and is the longevity champ of all the critters who’ve shared our lives. She has shed some muscle mass (and weight), has a touch of the rheumatiz, and can’t hit the countertop or the uppermost shelf of the cat tower in a single bound anymore.
But she still loves to play goalie in her crinkle tube, and every couple days she’ll tear around the place like a kitten, leaping onto and off of beds, weight bench, chairs, whatever, doing four-wheel drifts around the corners, dashing in and out of bookshelves, boxes and side tables, and then settling down for a refreshing nap in the bed-cave that I arrange for her, or in what we call “The Electric Chair,” which is “my” office chair with a heating pad wrapped in a thick towel.
Her appetite remains good and she’s still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She loves a good rubdown on The Chair of Love, which sits in the hall outside Herself’s office. We should also be so active and so well loved when we get to be her age.
Active and well loved in old age is something that the dumpster will never experience. He earns that fate every day. The very thing he craves will be denied him by his own hand. That is the very definition of a dumb sumbitch.
He will be immortal for all the wrong reasons. Devil be all like, “Shit, not this guy. He’ll stink up the class joint I got going on down here.”
Ah pets….lord knows we’ve had em over the years and yes….they are worth the cost and heartbreak. But over time we’ve gravitated to cats since unlike dogs, they don’t require you to go out at all hours of the day so they can make their “bank deposits”. Yet nothing beats a dog’s loyalty. Hope Duffy’s meds give him relief.
As for POG’s morning routine. I see there is nothing mentioned about having to log in so you can see what kind of shit is about, or did go down at work. And nothing about sitting in traffic going nowhere fast trying to get to the mothership so you can attend countless, fucking mind numbing meetings over nothing burgers. Oh and I see you didn’t HAVE to stop at Starbutts for burnt coffee either. And about that dress code…rumor has it you often go commando under that bathrobe.
On top of all the other crap, I just got a letter from our home insurance company. Apparently, they saw some shallow low points on the flat roof that were retaining a little water. I knew about it but had not considered it a major issue. Home insurance company said fix it before the middle of March or lose the policy.
Evil bastards. They did the inspection last fall and waited till February to tell us? What makes me think this is a pretext for jettisoning risk in Fanta Se?
Well, anyone know a good roofer in these parts?
Hmm….Geez Khal I have not had an insurance company come out and inspect my home in many years. Only remember them doing it when I moved into a place. Is Sante Fe real high fire risk? If so that must be the new thing for the insurance weasels to pork us over with. Next it will be surcharges if you have more than one vehicle thereby raising pricing. Or…HOLY CATS you have a gas grill on your deck so’s we have to hose you on that. OMG!! you have a SIDEWALK! Someone could slip and fall so you’ll need extra premium coverage there. You have garden tools? Oh buddy that’ll cost you since you never know when someone will step on a rake…
I think my blood pressure was about double normal today. I did finally get a quote from another company.
K, I know a (former) local who expressed confidence in CAS Enterprises if you find yourself hunting a quote. He got some class of a package deal with them that involved a solar installation, IIRC.
Fuggin’ insurance companies. With the payouts they’re doing in the Carolinas and California you just know they’re hunting all the pockets they can pick.
Got a couple lines on roofers but will add CAS to the list. I think Travelers is just trying to dump us for home insurance. Got a quote on homeowners from another company at about 5 p.m. And poured a good size glass of wine.