While we were amusing ourselves with rich people who trade our newspapers, websites and magazines like po’ folks do tips for making a tasty stew from a handful of weeds, a sheaf of unpaid bills and the family pet, a friend who works for The New York Times wrote to note that another round of buyouts is in progress, the fourth in five years, to be followed by layoffs if enough employees don’t take them.

In other words, jump or be pushed.

“Merry Christmas,” notes my friend, sourly. Indeed.

Things appear even grimmer in Cleveland, where the staff of The Plain Dealer is fighting back against cuts planned by Advance Publications by taking their case to the paper’s dwindling readership. They’ve produced a TV ad, created a Facebook page and plan a “Save The Plain Dealer” party on Thursday at the Market Garden Brewery and Distillery, co-owned by ex-paperboy Sam McNulty. The New York Times reports that the brewery is releasing a new beer, 7-Day Lager, which it says is “best when enjoyed daily, because one a day keeps ignorance at bay.”

Advance has already cut back several papers to three days per week, among them the storied Times-Picayune in New Orleans. With that in mind, McNulty invited Steve Newhouse, chairman of Advance’s pixel pirates, to join the party. Newhouse would not say whether he would attend, though McNulty offered to underwrite the trip.

However, Newhouse did say that the company was “working to develop a localized approach that will allow us to continue to fulfill our commitment to quality journalism in an increasingly digital world,” adding, “I support the work of our team in Cleveland and have passed on your input to them.”

This, of course, is chairman-speak for “Fuck you.” Eschew obfuscation, Stevie old scout. In other words, speak (and deal) Plain-ly.

• Late update: Also going tits-up: The Daily, Rupe Murdoch’s iPad-only daily “newspaper.” Nieman Journalism Lab takes some lessons from its surprisingly successful failure.