Category: Bike stuff

Showing the colors

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 26 Comments
Turkish working on his tan
The Turk’ suns himself in the living room.

You know what’s even better than not watching Ol’ Whatsisface gnaw through his lower lip while pretending to be sorry for what he did instead of for getting caught at it?

Riding your own damn’ bike for the first time in two weeks on a sunny, 55-degree afternoon, that’s what.

My pipes felt a tad rusty after the flu, and I wished for a big hit of albuterol, but that would’ve been doping. So I made do with a cough drop and a hefty dose of moral superiority.

Before getting back in the saddle I mounted fenders to the Kona Rove, which is next up in the Adventure Cyclist review queue.

Ever fit fenders to a disc-brake-equipped bike? Me neither. What it takes — for the front wheel, anyway — is a pretty abrupt bend in the left-side fender stay, a long-ass bolt and a spacer of some sort. I used about an inch of the plastic housing from a cheap pen liberated from a motel, which saved me a trip to the hardware store.

After two weeks on the disabled list I resembled a cyclist about as much as Ol’ Whatsisface resembles a penitent, but like him I didn’t care. It was enough to be out there.

Ten days that shook the ribs

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 10 Comments
Baby, it's cold outside.
Baby, it’s cold outside.

Ten days after the flu sank its meathooks into my respiratory system I’m finally starting to feel like a primate instead of a paramecium.

And there’s no danger of being tempted to imperil my fragile recovery by throwing myself headlong into a futile attempt to recover all those miles unridden because it’s 8 degrees and snowing.

It would be just like me to rocket out the door in search of a nasty case of bronchitis and perhaps a broken bone or two, so I think I’ll surprise the universe and stay indoors, maybe ride the trainer gently for a half hour or so.

Speaking of disease, beyond my little cocoon the speculation as regards impending revelations by the One Ball To Rule Them All has reached a fever pitch, and don’t I wish I could give a shit. Watching him summon the Reverend Mutha Gaius Helen Winfrey and her rubber gom jabbar to Pelotaville for a televised confessional in hopes of getting his personal gravy train back on the rails looks very little like a penitente journeying to the Sanctuario de Chimayó on his knees.

I can’t decide which cultural reference to deploy here. Is it an unrepentant Alex insisting that the Int Inf Min spoon-feed him in his hospital bed? Or is it Lucy at the chocolate factory, only with the chocolate being money and Lucy a great white shark and the assembly line running not too fast, but rather not fast enough?

“What’s it going to be then, eh?” I’m going to go with Alex here, because no matter what we may hear on Thursday, I suspect that a “cure” forced is no cure at all, and we will have our malevolent little droogie on our hands for quite a while yet.

Hell of the Northwest

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 59 Comments
The USA Pro Challenge peloton zips down Tejon Street in Bibleburg in the 2012 edition. Photo: Herself | Mad Dog Media
The USA Pro Challenge peloton zips down Tejon Street in Bibleburg in the 2012 edition. Photo: Herself | Mad Dog Media

The USA Pro Challenge (which is still a stupid name) has unveiled its route for 2013, and maybe it’s time to start calling the race the Tour of Colorado Ski Country USA (which is equally stupid, but at least tells you something about the event).

No Durango. No Colorado Springs. No Boulder. Yes to Aspen/Snowmass, Breckenridge, Steamboat Springs, Beaver Creek and Vail.

Loveland/Fort Collins made the cut, which is good, as Fort Collins has a rockin’ cycling scene. And Denver appears to be a mortal lock as the event’s Champs-Élysées; last year’s snoozer of a time trial is history in favor of a circuit race.

But it’s too bad that Southern Colorado gets shut out. There’s already bugger-all for lesser events south of the Palmer Divide — those tree-hugging sissies in Boulder are afeared that Jeebus and/or the NRA will git ’em if they dare to venture down this way to race they bicycles — and now anyone who wants to see The Big Show will have to crank up the idiot box or the family tank.

Ski areas have all the infrastructure (especially the green folding kind) that an event like this requires, of course. And it certainly doesn’t help that organizers have been known to pull enticing attendance figures right out of their asses, irking locals who found themselves coughing up big bucks for very little bang. Still, it would be neat to see the Stupidly Named Race visit less-heralded locations like Pueblo, Trinidad, Cuchara, Weirdcliffe or Function Junction.

I’d like to see a real weirdo stage that concluded up Phantom Canyon Road to Cripple Creek-Victor, or worked in Pass Creek Road and Old La Veta Pass. But I’m funny that way. Maybe not. Ain’t enough gold in them thar hills, I’m a-guessin’.

All the news that fits, we print (part four)

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 5 Comments

It’s official — Competitor Group Inc., which owns Velo magazine and VeloNews.com, has been sold to Calera Capital.

All you’ll ever need to know about the corporate buccaneers who did for VeloNews what Bain Capital did for Ampad is contained in the press release issued today from CGI HQ in San Diego. David Moross, chairman of Falconhead Capital, which owned CGI before the sale to Calera, made sure to give credit where credit was due:

“Five years ago we set out to build a leading company in an industry that was highly fragmented, but well positioned for tremendous growth,” said Falconhead Chairman David Moross. “Competitor Group has grown dramatically during this period and realized much of the potential we originally envisioned. This success is due to the original strategy we developed to create the company, and the hard work of our very talented management team and our board of directors.”

Emphasis mine. Yes, sacking cancer victims, veteran Tour correspondents and crackerjack ad salesmen takes talent and hard work, like hitting your own thumb with a five-pound sledge, setting yourself ablaze while trying to drink a Flaming Jesus, or stepping on your dick while fleeing a raid at a Vegas whorehouse. I expect that no matter what the future holds, the boyos in Boulder will be glad to see the last of Cap’n Moross and his pirate crew. Arrr.

All the news that fits, we print (part three)

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 6 Comments

While I was focused on the sale of our “local” daily newspaper to yet another out-of-town right-winger I overlooked reports that the owner of Velo magazine and VeloNews.com, Competitor Group Inc., has likewise been sold — to another venture-capital outfit, Calera Capital.

As with the sale of the Gazette to Denver billionaire Philip Anschutz, I know nothing about what this may mean for Velo/VeloNews.com’s readers and advertisers. Based on a casual glance at its website, Calera, like Anschutz, appears to have a wide range of financial interests, from banking to forest products to truck stops. Unlike Anschutz, it appears to have had no interest or involvement in media prior to this purchase.

The reports remain unconfirmed by corporate spokescreatures, save for one anonymous insider who told Bicycle Retailer and Industry News that “it’s a done deal. …”

More as (or if) I hear it.