Category: Cheap gags

One bomb deserves another

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 30 Comments

The best advice I’ve seen so far about the bombings in Boston comes from Ed Kilgore at Political Animal:

“If you live in Boston, stay home until things are better sorted out. If you live elsewhere, try to avoid jumping to any conclusions.”

Word. On a related note, I suppose it’s too soon to make a joke about how we’re all gonna have to take off our shoes before we’re allowed to run our next marathon.*

* As an ink-stained wretch of long standing I assume that this bit of black humor or some variation thereof hit the nation’s newsrooms before the smoke cleared.

After Oprah, what?

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 18 Comments

From the creators of “Jersey Shore” comes “Redneck Riviera.” Conceived by Ron White (“They Call Me Tater Salad”), it stars Lone Star Staters Lance Armstrong, former President George W. Bush, Gov. Rick “Goodhair” Perry, Jessica Simpson, Randy Quaid, Meat Loaf, Vanilla Ice and Gary Busey as a potted palm.

In the first episode, Randy Quaid Skypes from Canada to bet Meat Loaf that Jessica Simpson can’t suck a golf ball through a garden hose from Mustang Island to Port Aransas. Meanwhile, Gov. Perry challenges President Bush to a tongue-wrestling contest, and Lance Armstrong wonders over a succession of Shiner Bocks how Oprah would look in a blonde wig and whether Club Fed-Three Rivers has a runway long enough to accommodate his private jet.

Spare weed, man?

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 5 Comments

A federal District Court judge in Denver has sided with the American Civil Liberties Union of Colorado, issuing a preliminary injunction that prevents Bibleburg from enforcing its “no-solicitation zone” (read: downtown anti-begging ordinance) pending further legal tomfoolery.

Meanwhile, El Paso County has given initial approval to an ordinance that would ban recreational marijuana businesses in unincorporated areas of the county.

So, does this mean we have a First Amendment right to beg for weed downtown? I’m so confused.