Fox in the chicken house

I can't look at a red fox without hearing, "Hey, dummy!"

The first fox of the season popped round this morning as I was prepping for a ride.

He (or she) had a refreshing drink at my front-lawn sprinkler, then wiped out a few chickens belonging to a neighbor before leading us all on a merry chase around the ’hood.

Little sucker was as shameless as a House Republican, but absolutely without fear (this is how you can tell the difference between a chicken-stealing varmint and a House Republican).

I briefly considered sending the obnoxious sumbitch to the Great Beyond with one of the quieter family firearms — something in a .22 long — but decided against it. He (or she) is just doing what comes natural, and I don’t have the State’s permission to bust a cap in his (or her) ass.

But Turkish, Mia and Buddy will be enjoying some strict supervision in the backyard henceforth, and I may invest in a bag of BBs for the old air pistol. A ping in the pooter may persuade this grinning rascal to seek sustenance elsewhere.

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16 Responses to “Outfoxed”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    You got fox up there, we got Wile E. Coyote down in New Mexico. Same modus operandi.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Ah, yes, my old pal Wile E. He was a fearless bastard in Weirdcliffe, too — out in dark and daylight, even chasing dogs accompanying horsemen. We’re pretty sure it was a ‘yote that wounded our cat Ike, a.k.a. Chairman Meow. WIle E. ain’t no cartoon.

  2. Tom Says:

    Aren’t they nocturnal? Seems to me that too many sightings in the daytime means they may be ill or rabid? Or maybe there’s a litter of kits in there that demand to be fed?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Tom, I guess the red fox can be active anytime, day or night, but prefers dusk and dawn.

      The local folklore has it that the foxes used to rule the nearby golf course until an influx of coyotes in Palmer Park turned them into nomads. In our first few years here we used to see them all the time, trotting up the sidewalks like dogs off the leash. But I haven’t seen one in a year or so.

      When Gen. Palmer founded Bibleburg he arranged for the construction of irrigation ditches to green the joint up. Some of them are still around, but lidded with concrete and looking like some kind of larval sidewalk. A couple years back we saw that a fox family was using one of them for a den — you could hear the kits yapping and yipping, and now and then one would stick its head out through a crack at the end.

      • Tom Says:

        Thanks for the feedback. I know there are foxes, more grey here I think, around my area. Just never see them and when i hear of someone seeing them, they turn out to be rabid.

    • Chris Says:

      We have a number of them in a local open space preserve that hunt in full daylight. Often two or three in one very large field. They look very healthy.

  3. John Dallager Says:

    Seein’ a couple of foxes at dawn/dusk in the Black Forest here north of C-Springs. Good idea OG to watch the pets and small livestock. The foxes’ll come over/thru a fence in a heartbeat and enjoy the easy pickins. Ditto when we lived in Tucson with the Wile E’s! Up and over a 5 foot adobe wall faster than Boonen over the pave.

  4. Garu Says:

    In an effort to keep our cat safe, I chase coyotes out of our neighborhood in So Cal on my bicycle. It seems to freak them out because after a good 10 to 15 mph chase for maybe 6 blocks the coyotes will stay away for months.

    A side benefit is that it confirms what the neighobrs have suspected for years and that is that the old bike guy really is batshit crazy. I have noticed that It seems to keep the republican neighbors at a healthy distance.

    • Tom Says:

      I find myself chasing the turkeys in the parking lot at work. I do it from my car though. They’ve become aggressive since it’s springtime 😉 and need chasing back into the woods.

  5. swellschultz Says:

    “the old bike guy really is batshit crazy.”
    haha i like that one!

  6. veloben Says:

    We’ve got a smallish pack of coyotes in the railroad cut a 1/2 block from here. When the fire trucks start wailing on a run the pack joins right in.

    In one of the tonier suburbs a bit north a red fox stared my wife down from the middle of the road in the middle of the day.

    At least the skunks aren’t so bad this spring as last.

    PS. Nice reference to the Centurian on Adventure Cycling.

  7. Charley Says:


  8. khal spencer Says:

    Speaking of varmints, looks like Santorum is slinking back to his den.

    • john Says:

      Ah, Santorum — the guy who took an 18-point loss in his last Senate election as a sign from God that he should run for President.

      Let me recommend Charles Pierce’ politics blog over on esquire — http://www.esquire.com/politics. He’s a terrific writer. I mention him because, through this campaign season, every time he’s brought up Santorum, he’s appended the phrase: ” — and have I mentioned recently what a collossal dick he is? ”

      ex-Senator S. has a chronically ill child, which is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. Even so, he is exactly as Mr. Pierce portrays him.

  9. Derek Says:

    The foxes over here in the Garden look to be a wee bit smaller. I am not worried about my dog, 80 lbs of muscle, around them but the coyotes are a might worrisome. They gang up even without the requisite hoodies.

  10. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    You mean we could get rid of the Repuglicans if we just chased them away using a bicycle? Does Tim B. of BikesBelong know this?

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