Friday funnies

Freeze, UCI! From 1998

The UCI has scheduled a press conference for Monday. Five will get you 10 they’ll announce they’ve found something suspicious about Big Tex’s bike.

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16 Responses to “Friday funnies”

  1. David R Says:

    Outstanding Patrick…

  2. Stan Thomas Says:

    Yeah. But it’s not funny anymore is it, just sad. Sad for Big Tex personally to have fallen so far from grace. Sad for cycle sport. Sad for the cycle industry.
    I find it hard to comprehend your glee. Harder still to understand the relish with which you, and many others, stick the boot in. By all means attack Romney, and Obahma; they affect all our lives, US or otherwise, and seemed destined only to make things worse.
    LA did some good, provided us with entertainment and, yes, pocketed the cash. But was it your cash? Did his winning the TdF, at a time when everyone appears to have been doping, affect your opportunity to wear a yellow jersey on the Champs-Elysees?

    • GJ John Says:

      Stan, you’re kinder, better man that I am. But I think back to all the times HWSNBN kicked others when they were down, and I have a feeling of schadenfreude. Remember the Tour of Georgia a while back when he mocked Landis from the podium as Landis crawled his way over the finish line? Or the way he chased down Simeoni, and promised to make his life hell (and succeeded to the point that Simeoni retired prematurely)? Or how he treated Bassons for the crime of NOT doping, but instead talked openly about doping? Or Walsh and Kimmage for writing about the sport in an effort to clean it up? The list goes on. No, he didn’t cost me any cash, but he deprived others who were more deserving of plenty of cash, so, yes, I take delight in watching his downfall. It’s like having an asshole in a big pickup truck miss you by inches while calling you “faggot” and swearing at you, then watching as he drives his truck into a ditch and rolls it a few times. It’s called “Instant Karma”, and it doesn’t happen nearly often enough. Yea, I’ve got the popcorn popped and I’m enjoying every minute of this.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Stan, have you read the USADA documentation? Followed the way Big Tex browbeat and harried anyone who dared doubt his “grace” over the years?

      Some folks treat these revelations as though they were the moral equivalent of cutting the course or catching a tow. There is a similarity in that course-cutting, getting towed and doping are all forms of cheating. And I suppose you could argue, shucks, might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, so more power to him for going big.

      But if USADA has it right, this is organized, professional cheating on a massive scale, well beyond anything we’ve seen before (and I’ve been watching since 1989). Threats, coercion, perhaps perjury — and yes, let’s not forget the cash.

      Big Tex’s 2010 earnings have been estimated in the $21 million range. Did he reach that pay scale honestly? Sure doesn’t look like it.

      You may argue that, well, if he stole, he stole from thieves. And that’s a valid point. But it’s still theft, and on a massive scale, and not everyone who got his pocket picked was a pickpocket.

      He didn’t level the playing field, he obliterated it. And the sport got theirs while the getting was good, as did the bike business, as did the bike magazines. Now we may well be forced to endure the dark side of the “Lance Armstrong effect,” though that remains to be seen.

      Finally, if I appear to be enjoying this a little too much, I beg your indulgence. I’ve always despised bullies and hypocrites, and being an atheist I have to hope that they get their comeuppance in this world, so I can watch.

  3. Rick Says:

    But Stan it was my cash. The investigation was not just about Lance but about the entire doping system on the US Postal Service team that was sponsored with our tax dollars. I’m enjoying this because I feel that I’m getting my sport back by ridding it of bullies and thugs who’ve had too much influence for far too long.

    • weaksides (@weaksides) Says:

      Not to belabor the point too much, because it’s not the real issue here…but the USPS has been self-funded since the early 80s. All the money that paid for the team should have come from postage revenue, rather than taxes- which of course means we still sort of paid for it, just not how you were thinking.

      That said, I’m not losing any sleep over Texus Maximus’ very bad day either.

  4. Libby Says:

    Great cartoon, Patrick!

  5. Khal Spencer Says:

    What Rick and O’Grady and GI John said.

  6. pablopinchasso Says:

    Big Tex burned up today…is that an omen of things to come…

    • Larry T. Says:

      I thought the same thing when Brian Williams announced “BigTex burned up today”. on NBC..WTF?
      In response to Stan, my wife was cheated out of results by dopers back-in-the-day and will NEVER know how she might have fared if dope was not involved. There are no do-overs for those cheated out of fame, fortune or more importantly for sport, just knowing if they had what it took to win. Add in that the rat-bastard from Austin has made a pile o’dough from his scam which is only coming back at the end of lawsuits and you should understand why some of us take perverted joy in the punk’s downfall. His entire cancer foundation is little more than a scam, just like his cycling career. Funny thing is, he probably would have gotten away with the whole scheme had he not decided to make his ill-fated (very ill-fated) comeback. Hubris I think that’s called and when it ends up like this, lots of folks take pleasure in seeing a bully finally get what he deserves, me included.

  7. Steve O Says:

    They’re going to reverse their initial ruling in the ’99 therapeutic exemption for cortisone?

    New evidence just in: Big Tex killed Tugboat.

  8. bromasi Says:

    great read Mr Dog, thats why I keep coming back to this site.

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