A different shade of yellow?

OK, let’s see if I have this right: The One Ball To Rule Them All has a come-to-Jesus moment, enters negotiations to return some of his pirate loot and indicates a willingness to start ratting folks out right around the same time that Justice Department officials were moving toward a recommendation that the government join Floyd Landis’ whistleblower lawsuit, which accuses our newly regretful soul of defrauding the feds.

Yup, sounds like genuine contrition to me. I’d be sorry too — mostly that I didn’t have a few people dropped into the Gulf of Mexico, wearing jukeboxes full of Robert Earl Keen tunes, back when I could still get away with it — but hey, sorry is sorry, right? Right?

23 thoughts on “A different shade of yellow?

  1. Now he wants to turn around and rat out those that made him rich? Does he really think he’ll go back to being everyone’s hero all of a sudden? That guy has got some huevo.

    Still, it might be worth it if he finks on Patty and Heinny.

    1. I might be interested in watching Thursday if I thought he might cop to boning yellow Labrador puppies every Easter Sunday and having the boiled head of Filippo Simeoni in his freezer.

      1. I would love to see Ophrah confront him about the abuse he heaped on Simeoni. Not ask him what happened so he can spin it; just state it and brush him off if he equivocates.

      2. Patrick, you are once again in full song. Did you open the bar at home last night? It might be hard not to watch the circus. They had to tell me it will be streamed on the net. Shit.

      3. Libby, I wouldn’t hold my breath. There won’t be any questions about Simeoni, Emma O’Reilly, Floyd, or Betsy Andreu. There’s a reason he’s doing this interview with Oprah and not Kimmage or Walsh.

    1. No, the Tygart piece was in the CBS link in Patrick’s original posting. There are now two Tygart videos on the CBS page.

  2. “Unfazed”. “Smiles and handshakes.” A show of strength and ease: not holed up but running and coyly subverting the press outside his home. Making sure he is seen – ever so cool – exercising and later with his posse. It’s sickening.
    How much talk about his father; his fertility issues; his then wife’s ‘miracle’ in vitro pregnancies and the last two ‘miracle’ babies with his current partner. I know Oprah had his ex-wife on the show years ago and probably Crow so she has footage of them discussing their time with him. Maybe that will be folded in to the show. In a previous post, commenter Jon Paulos reminded us to ‘ remember Ophrah’s audience’ or something close to that.
    I wonder what he’ll say about Floyd…..

      1. I especially like this part in the WSJ article:
        “In October, Mr. Armstrong huddled with friends and advisers and told them he was considering coming clean about doping.”
        Uh, isn’t “considering coming clean” pretty much the same thing as admitting doping?

        I guess with Armstrong (and his lawyers) the actual truth is just one of many possible stories they could tell, no different than any other story. “Psycopath” may not be an exaggeration.

  3. Okrah ain’t getting suckered, she’s cashing in just like BigTex. She, just like Tex, will say or do anything for fame and/or fortune. They’re a great pair. BigTex is certainly sorry…that he got CAUGHT and (so far) hasn’t been able to weasel his way out of it to continue his Cancer Jesus money-making, starlet f__king, bullsh__ing lifestyle as a big hero and inspiration to the clueless. If he gave back ALL of his ill-gotten loot, truly apologized to every person he screwed over and gave up his luxury lifestyle, he could then (I hope) just GO AWAY and work for “cancer awareness” in a real way…but whatever happens I just wish he’d GO AWAY.

    1. Hey Larry! When you get to Italy could you track down Simeoni and on behalf of all of us tell him “we’re sorry”. Remind him that most Americans aren’t like TLBWSNBN.

      Most Texans, maybe, but not most Americans.

      1. There is a long line of people waiting to either get a real apology or in line with a razor strop, if anyone else my age catches my drift. (Thankfully, I never had the pleasure of that rite of passage).

  4. Truly, if this is what it takes to get Patrick in full snark mode, I hope it never ends. “…boiled head of Filippo Simeoni…” Everyone in my cube farm was giving me the hairy eyeball for laughing so hard.

  5. Since he’s the kingpin, who is he planning to rat out – all the folks he paid to keep him doped up?

    It’s just another stop on the Lance Expressway. For someone as amoral, narcissistic and out-of-touch as Lance, the sky’s the limit. We may even see President Lance Armstrong – now that would be scary.

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