You can’t spell ‘news’ without ‘ew’

Mister Boo post-cleansing.

Mister Boo post-cleansing.

Trying to keep abreast of the news lately is like following the Budweiser Clydesdales around with a demitasse spoon and a lace napkin. Some days there’s just too much shit for one guy to shovel.

For example, this is not the first time I’m glad I don’t live in Boston.

Also, Los Angeles.

Some buttmunch (or more likely, buttmunches) stole a quarter-million euros worth of bikes and gear from a Garmin-Sharp truck parked outside the team’s hotel, putting them out of the Tour Méditerranéen.

Say it ain’t so, Cipo’.

Is that a drone in your pocket, or are you just unhappy to see me?

And so on, and so forth, etc.

Meanwhile, I have a bum knee that apparently requires physical therapy — always good news for a fella who makes his marginal living in the bike biz — and Mister Boo had to endure a bath, a nail-clipping and the expression of his anal glands this morning. So we’re all a little irritable around the DogHaus today.

How’s tricks with you? Speak up in comments.

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26 Responses to “You can’t spell ‘news’ without ‘ew’”

  1. sharon Says:

    Still recovering after car hit me on bike. And working with the driver’s insurance company is worst than a dentist filling a tooth without a painkiller. No wonder there is such a market for attorneys in that line of biz. Almost wish I had gone that route.
    Have plans to go to Boston in June. Hope the snow is gone. I think Mister Boo looks very handsome.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Damn, Sharon, that sounds like a whole lot of no fun at all. You able to ride the bike at all? Do you have a bike at all?

      And I hear you on insurance companies. Seeing a doc for the knee required about 10 minutes on the phone (9.5 mins. for insurance information, 0.5 for why I needed to see a doc). Doc was about as helpful as an insurance company (yup, that’s a knee you have there, remember it from medical school, get some PT, see ya). Ay, Chihuahua.

      Take a shovel with you to Boston. Hell, take a shovel to your driver’s insurance adjuster. I’ll even loan you the shovel and help swing it.

      • sharon Says:

        Yeah lucky to have a couple of other bikes. Am riding my 20-yr old Eddy Merckx that I had retrofitted with newer Dura Ace a few years back. It’s actually a beautiful bike – takes me back to lots of memories.. But doesn’t matter too much because I’m basically only riding around the block right now, but am on the mend so that’s a good sign.

      • Patrick O'Grady Says:

        All rides are good. It’s just that some rides are better than others. I like the ones where nobody hits me with their car. Glad to hear you’re on the comeback trail, Sharon.

  2. Steeb'n O' Says:

    105.9 sucks enough when it’s just the local slow jam FM station. But it’s definitely not cool when it’s your 2 year old’s temperature.

    7th ear infection. Hello, tubes.

    Worst part is, the defense-grade antibiotic they gave her has given her explosive diahrria. She so much as looks at a can of beans or hears the word “Mongo” and you’re cleaning butt stew out of her Dr Dentons.

    Wife has been nursing a cold for two weeks.

    Somehow the 6 mo old and I have steered clear of this mess, save for my chronic bad attitude and hard work allergy. But a quick back of the envelope calculation shows the last time I got 6 consecutive hours of sleep was four months ago. Running on fumes. Which, thanks to the antibiotic Rx, we have plenty of.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      That’s a temperature, a’ight. Kill you or me stone dead, but a kid comes through just fine. Well, if your idea of “fine” includes the miraculous ability to turn just about any ol’ solid or liquid into odiferous brown water. Hope everyone’s back to normal soon.

  3. khal spencer Says:

    Wish some of that snow Back East would come out this way. Our idea of a storm here was just enough flakes to coat the deck till it melted an hour later. Come next summer, even the rocks will be burning.

    Sorry about the bum knee, O’G. Ain’t getting old fun?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Word on the snow, K. Shirtsleeves weather yesterday for my walk to PT. That’s fine, so far as it goes, but you can’t drink it in July.

      Word also on the getting-old bit. At least if you’re in pain, you know you didn’t die during the night.

  4. Arnold Says:

    Hey bro! Well things are all OK up here in the Great Frozen North. We have just had a big ass Nor’easter rip through dumping mucho snow so the daily bike ride was fraught with excitement. But fear not all this will be taken care of soon. By June if nothing else. Other than this little contretemps this has been the winter that wasn’t for us here on the East Coast of Canada! So we have small to complain about I suppose.

    • Ira Says:

      Where you at Arnold? Here in PEI we’ve had record cold for the past 2 weeks, and now I’ve been stuck in the house all day watching snow go by the window at 90KM +. I’m about ready to wave the white flag.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Gents, send some of the white stuff our way. What we call “snow” around here the past few years looks more like a ’fridge in need of defrosting. Cold without snow serves no purpose beyond enriching the winter-clothing cartel, damn their eyes.

  5. bwestes Says:

    I wait to read your postings as they always cheer me up, make me chuckle or incite me to riot – all good. I am enduring a bad knee from a fall (stupid one at that in our house) that is into week 5 of pain. I hope the PT helps you Patrick. I don’t wish the “rest, ice and rest someone” on anyone with our personalities.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Hey, Beth, long time no talk to. Shannon’s younger sis took a household digger like yours a while back — tripped over a cat and broke her friggin’ arm. The cat that does this to me better hope it’s the shootin’ arm that’s been put out of commission, and I might even try to pot the furry little swine left-handed.

      My knee is a matter of creeping geezerism and the typically Irish predisposition to ignore the facts in the face of higher truth. (“Hm, knee hurts, screw it, keep riding and running, just double up on the whisky.”)

      I figure I was about two weeks away from getting a peg leg and a parrot before I finally broke down and went to see a sawbones. Now I have PT twice a week for a month and we’ll see where that leads (besides to the credit union for more money). Hope you heal up soon. We’re both far too cantankerous to be in anything other than tip-top condition.

  6. Herb Clevenger Says:

    Before anyone slices on your knee or you waste countless hours whiling away in PT, get serious as hell about illio-band stretches and hip flexor stretches. Had one meniscus “repaired” with all the attending hoopla, cost, PT etc. Then for good measure the other knee had to act up even worse with the same symptoms. This time I had no time/money left and began the stretching religiously. And that’s saying a lot from an agnostic. Lo and behold once all those connective tendons got stretched out good my knee was no longer pulled out of alignment and pain was gone. Learned awhile ago over a beer with a med expert that almost all of us old farts have some small tear in the meniscus as a rule so when they go in there for surgery they ain’t lying that they did a repair alright. Only thing is that it didn’t have to happen. Good luck and I hate to see a comrade down.

  7. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Patrick and Steeb’n, once again I woke up to 38 degrees, 40 mph gusts, and snow. At least the snow didn’t stick to anything this time, and there was no accumulation that would have made it worthwhile. I was not in a good mood. Then I read this post and laughed so hard I almost shit my pants. Thanks, I needed that.

    PS: Take Mr. Boo on the local single track where the ‘yotes hang out. When Duffy gets that scent, he squeezes out those stink glands on his own, no assistance required. I didn’t name him Duffy, the shelter folks did before we got him. It fit him; we kept the name. Duffy O’Brien kinda rings though.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Hey, Patrick …. with 40-mph gusts, what would the snow stick to? A wall?

      Coyotes we got a-plenty over in Palmer Park. Mostly foxes here in the ‘hood. And skunks. Jesus, you should’ve seen the size of the one that ambled up the driveway today. He looked like Newt Gingrich with his tux on backwards.

  8. weaksides (@weaksides) Says:

    Well I’ve fairly well recuperated with my latest date with the asphalt. I got in 15 Tuesday night with a friend and could have done more but for a frayed shift cable for the rear derailleur. Broke out the other bike today for a 23 mile leg stretcher today. I would have gone farther had time allowed. Hopefully tomorrow I can get 40 or so in.

    Good luck with the PT Patrick. I know how you feel sort of since I’m going twice a week myself still for my lower back.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Good man y’self, Weak. I haven’t been out for longer than 90 minutes this year. Much more of this sort of thing and I will be forced to take up golf.

      The PT dude is hoping for a quick fix, and so am I. The rest is up to the chiropractor. I wish the Howard Families would get busy with their antigeria program so I could clone me a new body. This 1954 model should be up on blocks in the front yard.

      • Patrick O'Brien Says:

        54? How about 49? But, good things happen to geezers. When we got Duffy, the humane society volunteer said we were too young for the “Pets for the Elderly” program that would save us $50. I asked how old you had to be. He said 60. I said thanks, but my ass is elderly and sign me up. Plus last year I got the National Park geezer pass. And you don’t have to show your ID for booze at the store. It just gets better every year. But, watch those hip flexors. And please don’t say the “g” word again. Downer.

  9. John O Says:

    At least you didn’t have a colonoscopy. The prep had me with dirty shorts a few times.

  10. larryatcycleitalia Says:

    Sorry, but I don’t have anything bad to report from here in Sicily.
    Unless you’re Mario Cipollini at present, Italia’s pretty nice. I’ll leave it at that – if anyone wants more go here

  11. John Levy Says:

    Sorry about the knee Patrick, however physical therapy beats surgery and dealing with hospitals. Infernal places sick people and greedy administrations . Moderate in northern rocky mtns.made up a batch of chicken and green chile enchiladas to bring some light to the eternally dark NW Montana. Wife brought back flu from Chicago, no vaccination hey I am 58 yrs old this vaccination doesn’t work that well on us boomers. So down for two days, but Korbel brandy kicked it in the butt. Recovering nicely, Will Pull the old steel LeMond out and air tit up and see how manyflats I can generate.

  12. Boz Says:

    Just came in from shoveling the new shed roof before another 10-12 falls herein Duluth. My efforts rewarded me with sharp back pain. Alleves and stretching on the exercise ball, have so far dulled it enough to sit down for a bit. Feels like a large knot in the muscles along side L5. Happy birthday to me. Another year older and deeper in debt….

  13. khal spencer Says:

    I see the Pope is hanging it up so he has more time to ride his bike.

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