Site gag

The Embudo Trail parking lot at the top of Indian School Road.

The Embudo Trail parking lot at the top of Indian School Road.

OK, so last night I actually slept through the night without coughing myself awake a couple dozen times. Our long national nightmare is over, I thought.

And then the Samsung clothes washer croaked in the middle of a load for the fourth time in a year. Naturally, the Samsung warranty expired last week, after one drain pump and two circuit boards. Now we’re at the mercy of the Best Buy Geek Squad, which may be able to see us (wait for it) Tuesday.

So what I wanna know is: Which one of you wisenheimers has a Patrick O’Grady voodoo doll stuck full of pins?*

* Yes, I know, at least it’s not stuck full of bullets, as are many of the residents of Roseburg, Oregon. Don’t expect to see any action on gun control until some sicko shoots a brand new baby iPhone, much less by Tuesday. Until then, if anyone offers to sell you a Samsung clothes washer, you have my permission to shoot them.

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18 Responses to “Site gag”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    Oy vey! Send that damn thing back to Korea, in pieces. Once upon a time I had a Micky Mouse phone. Yea, like you remember, with Mickey’s hand holding the handset. I bought the sumbitch, then moved from Georgia to Illinois. Phone company up there told me they wouldn’t hook Mickey up because I didn’t buy it from them. No amount of Mr. Nice Guy would convince them. So, I called the consumer reporter from the local paper and told them I was going to behead Mickey with my trust camp hatchet the next day, and they were welcome to photograph it and talk to the executioner. Damn, I was ahead of my time. Anywho, they called the phone company, Ma Bell I believe, and asked them about my problem. They decided to hook Mickey up. So, whip out your pen buddy. And whup some ass. I think a sledge hammer would be the appropriate tool in this case. You could even make some money selling minutes with the hammer.

    I hope that bike is packed for a week long tour. You want a riding buddy?

    • Steve O Says:

      Your washer goes out the same day as my dryer. Maybe we can wash a load here and FedEx down your way to dry?

      Mine also died the week after the warranty expired. They tell me it’s a $400 repair: $300 part + $100 in labor. Takes me 45 minutes to disassemble the back, top, then control panel to wiggle the whatsit to get it running for another six months.

      If we’re going to play First World Problems Summer Games, I’m guaranteed a medal, and Gold ain’t out of the question.

      Started the first week: texting speeding red light runner t-bones us, totals our car. She has Joe’s Fly By Night Discount Insurance; we have USAA, one of the most trusted names in the business. But guess whose insurance company looks like a monkey humping a football? Misspelled my name three times on powers of attorney. Lost the title. Fucking clueless on the phone. Serious customer service and user experience problems. Denied Med Pay submissions just cuz. 35 years with them, dropping them when we’re done with this.

      Then there’s the 5 day painting project that took 24.

      Replaced a whole house worth of carpet: measured it wrong, cut it wrong, installed it wrong.

      Called the city a year ago to fix a sink hole in front of our house. They showed up today and patched a nonexistent hole three houses down. I walked over to the crew, ask them to check the address on the work order… you know what comes next

      The wife decided to redo most of the inside of the house this summer, and our bedroom was her number one priority. Special ordered a hard-to-find dresser and some weird mirror to go right on top of it. The mirror arrived first, and we didn’t open the box because the dresser wasn’t in yet. Then we get the dresser, and the delivery crew promptly drops down the front porch steps where it bounces off each and every concrete step on the way downhill. Three months later in the new dresser arrives, we open the box with the mirror… You can guess what we found. Cracked. Store has a 90 day return policy. It’s the 93rd day. Somehow my wife leaves on the charm gets them to take it back anyway, they give us a new one, we open it up at home… Cracked in the exact same spot, not even entirely sure that they didn’t give us the same one again

      I got about 20 more just like this. Really funny one about our gray water line that runs to the sprinklers, but it takes about 20 minutes to tell.

      I have never wanted the summer to get over like this year

    • Steve O Says:

      Ahhh, Ma Bell …

      Little-known fact, but AT&T helped keep the Internet American homes for about 20 years. The technology was totally there. But they had a policy about selling or leasing every single bit of equipment that touched their lines. And they didn’t make modems, so nobody else was going to those damn dirty machines on their lines.

      Funny thing is, what finally cracked the policy was when they’re over eager lawyers went after some company that sold simple plastic cones that went over the mouthpiece that was supposed to provide more private conversations, allowing the guy talking to whisper. Wasn’t electric, no batteries, wasn’t even physically connected to the phone system except by snapping on to the mouthpiece. Was called the show medical or somethin was called the Hush-o-matic or something, sold for $1.99. Their lawyers see them, the judge left them out of the court room, and some guy who knew how to make modems came up with the cup and Velcro contraption, and AT&T couldn’t touch them.

      Karma, bitch.

  2. Ryan Says:

    Unless some nutso shoots up the house or senate I see nothing changing -if Sandy Hook didn’t get them off their collective asses nothing will sad to say

  3. Ryan Says:

    Just to be clear I am NOT advocating for any kind of shooting anywhere I just saying if all you can say in response to a class room of kids getting wiped out is “we hold them in our thoughts and prayers” as a congress then you will do absolutely nothing for any kind of gun control.

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Ryan, I have come to the conclusion that all they care about is getting re-elected. Simple as that. They count on the propaganda pushed by the political parties, the PAC, anonymous big donors, and the lobbying arms like the NRA and AARP, who seem more interested in keeping their organizations funded, to divide the country and deliver the ignorant, frightened, or angry single issue/party voters required to keep them in office. Are there babies in the congressional bath water? A few perhaps. But they all need to go. The presidential race is window dressing unless the congress gets a BIG message a year from next month. Without a active and compromising congress, a president can’t do much. Witness the last 7 years.

      • Ryan Says:

        Can’t agrue that point Pat, I would love to see Term Limits for senators and representatives , as well as campaign finance reform, but when you ask the pig to voluntarily make their trough smaller its unlikely to happen, maybe someday all this technology will allow we the people to directly vote on issues like this and by pass our ineffective congress…..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SoWNMNKNeM

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    OK, I pulled all the pins out of the doll. Feeling better?

    I received my Adventure Cycling mag yesterday, and read the review of the Felt V100. Nice work! If I needed a single road bike, and had a very tight budget, I might save my money for a few more months, and get something with a little nicer frame. It’s amazing how far down disc brakes have trickled in the bike world. By the way, I have been running TRP Spykes on my Niner for a couple of months. I think they are better than the BB7s they replaced in every way. And quiet! They worked so well that I replaced the old BBDB Avids on Sandy’s Salsa with Spykes. She is happy with them too.

  5. Larry T. Says:

    Ah, the joys of “owning” (sure, just stop paying the property taxes and see how long you own it) your own home. The ancient Whirlpool washer that came with our shack got replaced two weeks ago (the agitator came off in my hand so I think it was time) with a new-fangled GE high-efficiency machine. Seems overly complex with lights that blink and motors that reverse themselves but so far, so good. The “hand wash” cycle seems good for cycling stuff and the $499 price, minus the $150 check the power company will send us for buying the HE type of washer, made this a no-brainer. If it croaks after the warranty’s up, a new one will be purchased post-haste, just like any other electronic gizmo – when they die, toss ’em and get a new one.
    As to the passionate gun love lobby and why the sane people can’t overcome them…well, you know what my wife says.

  6. Dale Says:

    That’s what happens when you buy smart appliances. I’ll say no more.

  7. Ira Says:

    Quote from Ozzy Osbourne “If guns don;t kill people, why do we give people guns when they go to war? Why not just send the people?” If Ozzy’s drug addled mind can come up with this, what does that say about the common sense of US Congress?

  8. khal spencer Says:

    Hey, folks. For anyone with a few dead presidents to spare, there is currently a crowdfunding effort going on to raise money for Charlie Cunningham. He had a really bad crash a few months ago. The kicker is he had an undiagnosed subdural hematoma. Unfortunately, it was serious and Charlie just had emergency brain surgery and is incapacitated in an ICU and looking at massive rehabilitation efforts.

    The crowdfunding effort is being done by his web developer, Caroline James, who is also a charter member of WOMBATS along with Charlie’s wife, Jacquie Phelan.

    https://www.gofundme.com/w85tn3dg

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