“Goddamnit, he wants to ‘drive’ again, which means he just sits there, turning the wheel back and forth, making ‘vroom-vroom’ noises and honking the fucking horn. Later he’ll want us to run over a few homeless dudes panhandling in the median, maybe pick up a few hookers down on Central. Jesus. We’re gonna be out here all day.”
Monday is trash pickup day here in the cul-de-sac.
In Rio Gabacho, however, the trash is being delivered.
The good news is, the Mickey D’s on NM 528 is gonna make bank today. Unless he stiffs them, which wouldn’t surprise anyone who’s ever done business with the crooked sonofabitch. One of the SS boys flashes a piece in the drive-thru and that’s that. Another free Happy Meal for ’Is Lardship. So much winning.
The usual protests are planned, of course. Here’s hoping the anarchists stay home, waxing their weasels into their black bandanas and denying the media its both-sides narrative, and that the hippies at Tiguex Park have a couple new chants worked up for the TV cameras. I don’t care how much weed you smoke, that “hey hey, ho ho” shit hit its sell-by date in the Nixon administration.
Mad Blog Media 
September 16, 2019 at 6:52 am |
Hey, hey, ho, ho, instant coffee’s gotta go!
(Good morning, O’G. Did you solve the coffee crisis?)
September 16, 2019 at 6:57 am |
Ayuh. I dashed out and bought Son of Mr. Coffee, a $50 upgrade to the model that went west on us. Basically the same coffeemaker, but with an additional water filter, which can’t hurt around here, since the water is harder than the sidewalks.
That original Mr. Coffee we bought for The House Back East® way back when. The Wirecutter folks like this model here, but Herself finds the reusable filters obnoxious to clean.
September 16, 2019 at 6:55 am |
Someone oughta fly a massive Trump-baby hot-air balloon to welcome Orange Hitler to the state.
IMPEACH THE MOFO ALREADY!
September 16, 2019 at 7:04 am |
The SS boyos must love jetting into a free-fire zone like ABQ with Ginger Hitler & His Rolling Blunder Revue.
“Shit, I did three tours in Afghanistan and I’d rather be there than here. We were taking small-arms fire from the Sunport all the way to Rio Rauncho. Carl here had to shoot one of those median beggars when he refused to make change for a dollar.”
September 16, 2019 at 6:59 am |
So the Left wants to have its protest 20 miles away in a “safe space”? My god, who will be bringing the therapy animals and stuffed bunnies?
September 16, 2019 at 7:01 am |
Hey, it’s on a Bicycle Boulevard. What are you trying to do, trigger me? MAAAAAAAA!!! Khal’s tryin’ to trigger me again!
September 16, 2019 at 10:46 am |
Oh YEAH? Well you think that’s bad, now I’m gonna call you a BIKE BOULEVARD BICYCLIST! NYAH NYAH!
September 16, 2019 at 5:58 pm |
18 MPH 4 EVR DUDE!
September 16, 2019 at 7:51 pm |
All in Jest, Comrade, but I think you know that. I’m halfway through For Whom the Bell Tolls. All about war and personal stuff.
Shit, I wish we could get some of these freakin Fanta Se streets down to 30 kph. Some of our roads are just Too Damn Dangerous in anything smaller than a Green New Deal brand Urban Assault Vehicle, which is the standard transport for limousine liberals in these parts.
I needed tires for one of the Cannonballs over the weekend so I rode the Long Haul Trucker down Cerrillos to St.Michaels to Rob and Charlies. I chickened out about riding St. Francis home again and took the Rail Trail downtown and then back towards the family ranch on W. San Francisco. Of course I ran into a dozen cops investigating the latest murder up here–no gunplay, just someone was bludgeoned to death in the little park at the corner of Guadalupe and W. Alameda. Had a short chat with one of Santa Fe’s Finest to make sure I didn’t interfere with the cop stuff on my way home since the crime scene was on my homebound route necessary to avoid St. Francis.
https://www.santafenewmexican.com/news/local_news/police-continue-investigation-in-man-s-death/article_2efa5da1-596e-5d93-a055-f12b47134160.html
Whatta world.
September 17, 2019 at 6:36 am
Speaking of triggering … you pushed my button when you said “30 mph.”
I cancelled twitter but still check this guy out. Does a great job with easy to understand math.
https://mobile.twitter.com/brenttoderian
What’s paradise look like? This ain’t quite it, but 22m bikes for 18m residents is a start.
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/personal-history/how-i-learned-to-cycle-like-a-dutchman
Hey, wanna trigger Patrick? Show him the Next Big Thing™️
https://www.fastcompany.com/90404687/could-this-half-bike-half-scooter-create-a-new-form-of-urban-transit?partner=rss&utm_campaign=rss+fastcompany&utm_content=rss&utm_medium=feed&utm_source=rss
September 17, 2019 at 11:32 am
That was 30 kph, aka 18 mph.
September 17, 2019 at 11:52 am
I’m tracking, but isn’t 30/30 the magic cycling number? Get hit by a car below 30 kph, you’ll probably live. Get hit by a car above 30 mph, you’re probably dead.
September 17, 2019 at 2:34 pm
See below, as this box is getting too narrow.
September 16, 2019 at 7:16 am |
Easy Khal, you don’t want a Monday Foaming Rant, do you? Anyway, the protest will probably be pretty lame and receive little coverage. Spectacular lies and bullshit gets the clicks while the truth is boring. Any publicity is good publicity, and, besides, the dumpster says he hasn’t started campaigning yet. So, it will probably be a normal presidential speech in the old pueblo today.
September 16, 2019 at 10:31 am |
Oh, man, I miss those Foaming Rants(c). It was the one thing I looked forward to on Fridays other than the fact it was Friday and that meant Beer Hour at the Geology Dept. at Wossamotta U.
September 16, 2019 at 6:12 pm |
Jeebus, I must’ve written hundreds of those things. Thousands, mebbe, if you count the “Mad Dog Unleashed” screeds in BRAIN.
It was fun while it lasted, kinda, sorta. But between the screeds, the VN/BRAIN cartoons and nine weeks per annum of Live Update Guy I found myself spread awfully thin, like a pat of butter for a muffin the size of the Postal bus. I plummeted from wit to halfwit to outwit.
September 16, 2019 at 7:56 pm |
Shit oh dear, Patrick. At your worst, you were far better than anything I ever churned out for The Journal of Radioanalytical Chemistry (zzzzzzzzzzz). And far funnier.
September 16, 2019 at 7:21 am |
The Authorities have set up an official “free speech zone” somewhere in the Western Hemisphere, so it’s all good.
September 16, 2019 at 8:52 am |
I remember one of those when I showed up to “welcome” Dick (emphasis on the first name) Cheney to Sioux City, IA back-in-the-day. A city cop told me I couldn’t stand on the rented-just-for-the-event (but last time I checked city-owned) property, but instead should head over to the “free speech zone” that was pretty much invisible. I asked what prevented me from standing on the city’s public sidewalk just a few inches away from the Dick’s rented space? The answer was “Nothing” so there I stood. My best memory of that day was when Dick himself cruised past in his bullet-proof limbosine and saw my “Bush-Cheney: Miserable Failure” sign…and give me a middle-finger salute…if only I’d had a camera!!
Whooda thunk it could get worse than Dick & Bush? Gawd help us all!!!
September 17, 2019 at 5:09 am |
Well POG, what is the difference between a rant and a rave? I’ve always been partial to raving meself as in the Small Faces Lazy Sunday lick
A wouldn’t it be nice
To get on with me neighbors
But they make it very clear
They’ve got no room for ravers
September 17, 2019 at 2:36 pm |
Back at you, SAO’
Most of what I have read about speed of being hit vs fatality rate is for pedestrians and there are a lot of publications out there, many recycling the same data. Here is a 2011 analysis from AAA.
https://aaafoundation.org/impact-speed-pedestrians-risk-severe-injury-death/
“…Results show that the average risk of severe injury for a pedestrian struck by a vehicle reaches 10% at an impact speed of 16 mph, 25% at 23 mph, 50% at 31 mph, 75% at 39 mph, and 90% at 46 mph. The average risk of death for a pedestrian reaches 10% at an impact speed of 23 mph, 25% at 32 mph, 50% at 42 mph, 75% at 50 mph, and 90% at 58 mph. Risks vary significantly by age. For example, the average risk of severe injury or death for a 70‐year old pedestrian struck by a car traveling at 25 mph is similar to the risk for a 30‐year‐old pedestrian struck at 35 mph….”
September 17, 2019 at 2:37 pm |
Hence the need to lower urban speed limits to Vision Zero levels because urban is where a lot of people are hoofing or biking it.
September 17, 2019 at 2:46 pm |
Here in the Duke City you might see a motorist slow to 75 mph for a school zone. Maybe. If only to shoot someone.
September 17, 2019 at 6:08 pm |
Yep, and our culture gives a proverbial rat’s fanny over this problem since, well since everybody drives. When’s the last time people rallied for red light cameras and lower speed limits? Or pulling a driver license after a second DWI or third speeding ticket in five years? Or putting GPS linked speed governors that limit urban speeds in every new urban assault vehicle?
When Liz Warren, Cory Booker, and their buddies say we should treat guns like we do cars, which is their latest vapid demand, I can see the gun death toll going from around 35k a year to 350k a year. Gee, I’m sorry I was sighting in my deer rifle with the target pinned to the fence on the school playground. You know, officer, accidents will happen. Now, where is my insurance card???