A blast from the past, repurposed for 2019.
Well, the package is under the Christmas tree, but it’s not exactly what we hoped for, is it?
It’s a lot smaller than we thought, for starters. Missing a few pieces, seems like.
And we won’t get much time to play with it. A bunch of smirking old men wearing American-flag lapel pins are gonna take it away from us, just because they can. Doesn’t matter that we paid for it. Or that we’ll keep paying for it, for years.
When Vito Corpulento rose to power I thought that maybe, just maybe, the GOP would eventually wipe the blood off its flabby mitts, look around at the wreckage of the Republic, and say, “Whew. Well, we got almost everything we needed from the loony bastard. He’s not even a made guy. Let’s kick him to the curb.”
Wrong. The GOP is a gang, like the Gambino family, the Klan, or the Hells Angels. And gangs under attack tend to overlook any niggling internal disagreements.
Hunter S. Thompson wrote about the Angels as a tuneup for writing about Nixon, and tell me if this quote from a Frisco Angel doesn’t sound like your modern Republican Party:
“Our motto, man, is ‘All on One and One on All.’ You mess with an Angel and you’ve got twenty-five of them on your neck. I mean, they’ll break you but good, baby.”
They couldn’t do shit in the House except make a lot of bad noise, like a poorly tuned Harley. That’s the junior chapter over there, a bunch of prospects on mopeds, hoping to wear the colors some day. Good luck with that. The Senate wouldn’t let a bag of farts like Louie Gohmert in the back door to swab out the toilets after Taco Tuesday if he promised to use his tongue.
No, the Senate is strictly for the heavy hitters. It’s where business gets done. And by “done,” I mean done.
“Package? What package?” smirks The Turtle. “We never got no package from those guys. What could I tell you? But hey, it’s the holidays. There’s a lot going on. It’ll turn up, someday, maybe.
“Now get the fuck out of here. We’re doing business. Family business. And you don’t look like family to me.”
Tags: impeachment, The Turtle, Vito Corpulento
Mad Blog Media 
December 19, 2019 at 8:38 am |
Turtle and his groupies are nothing but a bunch of clucking chickenhawks. That’s why the head chickenhawk can boss them around. The have one communal testicle or ovary that they pass around when the occasion call for a little, and I mean a little, backbone. If I was in a tight spot, which I avoid at all costs since I am old and worn, I wouldn’t count on any of them to back me up. Come to think of it, our little experiment is old and worn, and I don’t think they would defend it either. I’d like to sling the lot of ’em under a Chinook and drop their asses into Northern Syria. Let them look at the Kurds and see what real courage looks like.
If you could see the boilerplate responses I got from our senators about impeachment, you would have puked. I deleted them faster than Merckx under the red kite.
December 19, 2019 at 9:25 am |
What he said.
December 19, 2019 at 9:39 am |
Seems to me that if the Orange Turd had said “we want to know if Hunter Biden was influence peddling in the Ukraine, and if so, what if anything Pop Biden knew about it”, he should have said that and turned it over to the AG’s office. Squeaky clean proposition, as no one, ahem, is above the law. Even someone running for President. I was never a fan of saying that Hillary’s server was irrelevant. But we know that’s not what Orangus Turdius did. He worked with his personal consigliare, which immediately poisons the well. That’s what cinches it for me on this count.
One can assert that his being a consummate asshole is not impeachable but says far more about the electorate. Plus, both the House and Senate have long ago abdicated their own responsibilities in letting the POTUS run amuk, and that goes to both parties. I think the Donks would have had a stronger case of the other count of obstruction of congress had they taken the obstruction stuff to court to haul the rest of the mob before House panels with subpoenas.
My main problem is that as we all know, this will not end well and meanwhile, the Donks are doing a great imitation of a cluster fuck as far as their own candidates. So I don’t see this as the high water mark of the Republic, but a continuing sense that our best years as a nation are fast receding.
Better stock up on canned goods, water bottles, and ammo. Thankfully, we just got another dog, so when the post-apocalypse comes, we can do a re-run in Fanta Se of A Boy and His Dog. Except I’m not a boy any more.
December 19, 2019 at 10:10 am |
I’m wondering about “Moscow Mitch” and the boyz who have said “Don’t confuse us with the facts. Our minds are made up!” when it comes to that pesky bit about being impartial as the impeachment jury. Shouldn’t they be recusing themselves if that’s the case?
Why aren’t the press folks asking about that and asking the Rethugs how this “hoax” compares to what they did to Slick Willie? Is covering up a White House blow-job really equal to holding up congressionally-approved military aid to a foreign country for a favor, a favor that just might help your reelection campaign? Really?
December 19, 2019 at 10:21 am |
Really. A blowjob in the White House may be less Presidential than, say, JFK cavorting with Hollywood starlets and Mafia girlfriends, but that was a different time. Not a high crime or misdemeanor.
One could assert that JFK put the nation at higher risk by sharing a girlfriend with Sam Giancana.
If we did a voir dire on the Senators, the trial would be held in front of the janitorial staff.
December 19, 2019 at 10:57 am |
You see, the thing is, one may impeach only Democratic presidents. Impeach a Republican president? My good man, that is simply not done.
December 19, 2019 at 11:23 am |
Well, Nixon got the word that even his own party was going to give him the Bum’s Rush. That was back when GOP congresscritters had moral scruples as well as a pair between their legs.
December 19, 2019 at 3:32 pm |
Madam Speaker seems to have a few ideas about how to snatch a knot in The Turtle’s little schemes. Jennifer Rubin breaks it down at the WaPo.
When I first heard that Pelosi was thinking about holding onto the articles for a spell instead of passing them to the Senate straight away, I thought it was bullshit. But it makes a strange kind of sense … if the Donks have the stones to play hardball.
Chazbo Pierce is paying close attention, too, with a special focus on the lead singer of The Supremes.
December 19, 2019 at 4:38 pm |
Lorenzo is right. Nana Pelosi is getting all strategic on their asses. Hard to fight that when your vision of the future extends 24 hours or less. And dumpster’s attention span is no longer than the time between commercials on faux news.
December 19, 2019 at 7:20 pm |
She was super defensive when asked about that, and my impression was, she had a plan, and is too smart to even hint in the direction of confirming or denying. The same way Mueller said “I take your question” six thousand times.
December 19, 2019 at 10:42 am |
Getting back to an earlier post, Frank Berto’s tire pressure calculator.
https://roubert.name/joakim/pressure/
December 19, 2019 at 10:59 am |
It’s sickening to see the GOP consistently put loyalty to their party over the welfare of the people they claim to represent. I wasn’t surprised by last night’s virulent defenses of Trump (comparisons to Jesus were an interesting touch), but I was, as ever, bitterly disappointed.
December 19, 2019 at 11:00 am |
Had to laugh over that comparison, too. Jesus had more to fear from Pontius Pilate than Trump has to fear from Mitch and his gang.
December 19, 2019 at 11:03 am |
Hey, Putin said his boy is innocent so it must be true.
December 19, 2019 at 11:24 am |
OMG, Patrick, that cartoon says it all.
But “Mitche’s Bitches”, – that is awesome just on its own.
December 19, 2019 at 2:50 pm |
It is a great cartoon. Shame on me for not saying that up front!
December 19, 2019 at 1:24 pm |
Meanwhile, there’s this https://cycleitalia.blogspot.com/2019/12/only-in-italy.html
December 19, 2019 at 3:08 pm |
Suh-weet! This is why we married above our station. Smart women, like, know stuff, an’ stuff. And sometimes they’ll tell you stuff. (Well, more often than not, but that’s a tale for another time.)
I had a lot more hassle getting a new Trek to replace the one I broke right down the middle of the right-rear dropout in a city-limit sprint Back in the Day™. They quit using aluminum dropouts after that.
“Sheesh, if that guy can break out a dropout, think what a real cyclist might break. Make a running change, guys. …”
December 20, 2019 at 7:45 am |
I’ve said it many times – “I AM the luckiest man on earth!”
December 19, 2019 at 4:47 pm |
That is a beautiful bike. They don’t sell Gios bikes in NZ but they do in that hell hole to the west of us, I should make some inquiries.
(oops, that’s your political system right there)
December 20, 2019 at 7:41 am |
Be careful – GIOS-torino is run by Aldo and Marco Gios while bikes painted blue with G-I-O-S stickers on them are sold worldwide (outside of Italy) by Aldo’s brother Alfredo.
Alfredo’s bikes are made in Taiwan while Aldo (he’s the guy you see in the back of the Brooklyn team car in “A Sunday in Hell” and Marco’s original GIOS-torino frames are 100% Made-in-Italy in Volpiano, just outside Torino. http://www.giostorino.it/
http://cycleitalia.blogspot.com/2019/05/gios-raduno-2019.html
December 19, 2019 at 5:02 pm |
AND a triple chain ring just like Mama used to make! What’s not to love?
December 20, 2019 at 7:43 am |
Yep, I never had the legs (or lungs) of a “Monsieur Roubaix” so I need all the help I can get when the road tilts up.