Get outa my Waymo(fo)

Phantom 309 gets a phantom Big Joe.

Oh, good. Waymo is bringing its self-driving minivans and trucks to New Mexico.

The Duke City’s drivers can’t wait to take their hands off the wheel for real. Then they won’t have to steer with their knees while texting, smoking meth, swigging hooch, spitting out the fire in their laps (spilled hooch and pipe sparks), and shooting at the punk-ass bitch who gave them the side-eye at the last stop light they ran.

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13 Responses to “Get outa my Waymo(fo)”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Oh, swell. Self driving eighteen wheelers now. Its potentially time for some monkey wrenching.

  2. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    Funny that no-hands thing. I’ve noticed plenty of, well..let’s say “modern” (rather than old-farts) riders don’t/can’t ride a bicycle with no-hands. They drink from a tube on one of those “enema” bags on their back and have a bag or box on the front of the bike for their phones, energy bars and lip gloss.
    Awhile back I rode along with some folks no-handed while pulling off and stowing a wind-vest in my jersey pocket. You would have thought I was David Copperfield by the way they reacted!
    But they seem to be able to drive a car no-handed just fine (in their opinion anyway) as they juggle their french-toast sticks, phone, coffee-flavored milkshake, etc.
    WTF?

  3. khal spencer Says:

    Rally at the Roundhouse in Feb 1st.

    http://labikes.blogspot.com/2020/01/two-wheelers-rally-at-roundhouse.html

  4. carl duellman Says:

    trucker speed by fred eaglesmith

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “Sometimes I feel like my wheels ain’t touchin’ the ground.”

      Hoo-boy. Been there, done that. Not in no 18-wheeler, though. I have driven various Japanese pickups in various states of mind from Maine to Spokane and Bisbee to Boise.

      Here’s Fred’s website. He and the missus are doing some serious touring.

  5. psobrien Says:

    I’m selling my last bike or trading it for an old Martin.

  6. katholoch Says:

    I was in utter shock at how scary the drivers were in NM when I moved from Oakland CA to ABQ in 1994. I grew up and learned to drive in big cities in CA, so I’m used to Traffic (with a capital T). But ABQ and NM drivers took it to a new level. Plus, my car insurance went UP if you can believe it. I always observed that 50% the drivers were going too fast, 25% too slow, and only 25% were driving in a sane and responsible manner. Perhaps Waymo wants to put the minivans and trucks through what would be the ULTIMATE test?

    • khal spencer Says:

      I wonder if Waymo has a special algorithm that its self driving trucks use in New Mexico to make sure they are as hazardous as our drivers.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “Aggressively bad” is how we describe them. Blasting down a 35-mph street at 55 with the right wheels in the bike lane, turning left from the right lane and right from the left, and when they actually stop at a red light (a rare occurrence), they do so in the crosswalk.

      • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

        I laugh when folks in the USA ask, “Aren’t you afraid riding a bicycle in Italy with those “crazy Italian drivers”?
        30+ years ago was my first time here and on our way out of the Milan airport we were stuck behind 4-5 cars all moving slowly. One by one they moved over and went past on the 4-lane “superstrada” until we got up there to see what the hold-up was: a guy on his bicycle behind a station wagon with the rear hatch opened…motorpacing! On the superstrada!
        Nobody blew their horn, pulled out any firearms or shook their fist as they went by – they just went by…so did we, but I’ll never forget it. “THIS is the place for me” I thought. It only took 30 years to make it happen 🙂

  7. Dale Says:

    Waymo is based on Artificial Intelligence, it’s kinda like Artificial Sweetener, Artificial Leather, and I must add Artificial Meat.

    It may seem to be the same but it ain’t. AI drives a vehicle very well in circumstances that the creators envisioned. Artificial Sweetener causes similar metabolic reactions as sugar. Artificial Leather is great until your feet smell like blue cheese (just drill more holes in the shoes). And Artificial Meat is just a substitute for what you crave.

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