Meanwhile, back in Iowa. …

The DNC strives to make chicken salad from … well … you know.

Reg: I now propose that all seven of these ex-brothers be now entered in the minutes as probationary martyrs to the cause.

Loretta: I second that, Reg.

Reg: Thank you, Loretta. On the nod. Siblings! Let us not be downhearted! One total catastrophe like this is just the beginning!

• Editor’s note: My sense of humor briefly deserted me yesterday. But I think I should get off with crucifixion (first offense).

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15 Responses to “Meanwhile, back in Iowa. …”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    You provide a place for the rest of us to safely vent our frustrations. So, no punishment for you mi amigo. If fact, you should get canned beer and sliced bread.

    In the meantime, there are the words of Stephen Mitchell from his notes on Chapter 46 of the Tao te Ching.

    “President Roosevelt said ‘we have nothing to fear but fear itself.’ I would say, not even that.”

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong is not exactly FDR, but I get his message when he tells The Guardian:

      “It’s not that I’m ignoring it, it’s just that the current political climate is something I just can’t draw any inspiration from. I’ve got tons of feelings about it. I think Trump is a piece of shit. I think Mitch McConnell is pure evil. All they care about is looking after the rich and they don’t care about the common people. But I find no inspiration there. It’s so depressing. It’s hard to dance when you can’t get out of bed.”

  2. khal spencer Says:

    Why is Monty Python always relevant when we talk about the DNC and the Dem candidates?

    David Brooks wrote an ominous column in yesterday’s Grey Lady, to wit, massive numbers of Bernie supporters jumped ship to Orange Julius Caesar in 2016 and may have flipped several key states to the Elefink column. Now if the Donks pull a circular firing squad again…

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Monty Python is always relevant when we talk about anybody or anything. As a retired commie and one-time IRA sympathizer I found many a giggle in the People’s Front of Judea (Officials).

      Also, it’s long been said that a number of Obama supporters went for Orange Julius Caesar in 2016. Feature that, if you can. I can’t.

      • Dale Says:

        “Also, it’s long been said that a number of Obama supporters went for Orange Julius Caesar in 2016.”

        Patrick, some people see God and the president as Santa Clauses (sp).

        God is Santa Claus because they can do bad things but if they attend church on Sunday, or tried to attend but it was not convenient, God will forgive them, and possibly reward them for a while or forever.

        The president is Santa Claus because he (no female president yet) will fix everything that God could not.

        Now God works in mysterious ways, so if you don’t get what you asked for you just keep praying and believing. After all, religion holds no election. The president on the other hand had better deliver over the span of four years.

        Unless you conflate God with the president.

    • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

      I have my doubts about Brooks and the NYT in general when it comes to the Democrats. NYT certainly didn’t do Billary any favors last time while Brooks seems to pine away for some mythical moderate candidate to inspire the equally mythical moderate voters and spare him from 4 more years of Caligula’s reign.
      How many Republican candidates climbed out of that clown-car trying to be the 2016 nominee? But things seemed different for them somehow to the NYT.
      A Donk candidate better not depend on the equally mythical youth vote – these kids just don’t care enough to get off their a– and down to the polls in November. He/she needs the voters who sat on their a– in 2016 but showed up in decent numbers in 2008 and 2012 to put Obama into office. Who can inspire them like that again? Just hating Don the Con ain’t gonna do it.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Brooks is a fucking tool. I love Charlie Pierce’s sendups on him, written from the point of view of his Irish setter Moral Hazard, owned for photo-op’ purposes.

      Chazbo is also spot on when he observes that the NYT has had a giant hard-on for the Hilldebeast since, well, forever.

      Problem for the Donks is, they gotta keep a lot of splinter groups happy while trying to resurrect some of their dead Obama cultists. Heavy lifting ahead. All the GOP has to do is say, “Democrats suck,” and that pretty much makes the nut for their voters.

      • khal spencer Says:

        Brooks put numbers in his piece. If he has good numbers, and I have no idea how good those are, then I think one has to swallow hard and listen because if a lot of Dems and Indies pout and stay home or vote against their interests, we are in deeper shit. I doubt Brooks just pulled those numbers out of his ass but I suppose that is possible.

        He does often come across as a whiny “ethical conservative” who is pining for the old days when conservative meant something philosophical rather than being about wearing a red hat and sounding like an asshole. At some point David has to man up and admit that he is living in an alternative universe. East Coast Moderate Republicans are extinct. Brooks should be put in a zoo or a museum alongside Lowell Weickert and wax figures of Jacob Javits and Nelson Rockefeller.

        Spot on that the Donk’s are plagued with “splitters” while the Romans, er., GOP members are pretty unified. Spot on with Larry’s comment about the youth vote until we develop a mobile phone app that not only votes for you but does the thinking.

        I think Life of Brian is spot on here. So was Michael Moore.

        • SAO' Says:

          No one has good numbers.

          There’s a crazy amount of noise when you start with micro-minutia (37% of left-hand Irish-Americans who wear a 12EE voted for Bernie, according to our exit poll) but you cannot track longitudinally. If we had 75% turnout, you could whicker it down, but at 50%, you could conceivably have half of a certain demo vote for X this year, while the other half stayed home, and next time the other half votes for the polar opposite.

          To get good data, I believe you need 2000 data points. But you cannot track these same 2000 year to year in a cost effective manner.

          I’m not knocking polls or data. It’s pretty amazing what we can do these days. But a two party system with 50% turnout generates weird results.

        • khal spencer Says:

          Oh, the article.

  3. Russell Williams Says:

    Don’t all Iowa jokes need to be approved by Zio Lorenzo? He must not have been in the state Monday night.

    • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

      IOWA is kind of a joke on its own! Still can’t figure out if the people living there fear the outside world because they live in Iowa or live in Iowa because they fear the outside world? Then there’s that “Iowa nice” thing…don’t get me started…

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      As I was born to a Sioux City mom, spent summers there, and count at least two Iowa types among my former college roomies (Iowa City and Des Moines), I get to make all the Iowa jokes I please without clearing none of ’em with nobody.

      That said, Zio Lorenzo is our resident card-carrying expert on all things Iowa. You will notice that he fled the place like a rat out of an aqueduct.

  4. SAO' Says:

    Better than my theory of Schrödinger’s swing voter.

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