Sunshine patriots

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), demonstrates his readiness posture for the press.

Herself has three days “off” each week, but the “off” part is short for “off her rocker.”

Yesterday she pulled a full shift with Herself the Elder (eye appointment, lunch, New Mexico ID, etc.). And today she attended the local Donks’ 2020 ward meeting (she is a precinct chairperson and narrowly escaped sentencing to the pre-primary convention).

Tomorrow she has to give me a haircut. Yeah, yeah, I hear you laughing out there, but it’s harder than it sounds, chasing down and eliminating rogue hairs on my vast expanse of scalp. Like mowing the lawn for someone who doesn’t give a shit about lawns. Why can’t a fella go bald all over at once, is what I’d like to know.

In solidarity I went for a couple nice bike rides in the sunshine while the cats napped in sunny spots. Tough work, but someone had to do it.

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19 Responses to “Sunshine patriots”

  1. psobrien Says:

    Turk looks just like Duffy laying in the sun, ‘cept the ears are different.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      How is El Duffo? The Turk has been enjoying his meals a little too vigorously of late. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to squeeze into a uniform.

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      Now that you ask, Duffy sneezed really hard last Monday and strained a muscle and tendon in his neck. So, after 3 days of muscle relaxant and 6 days of doggy NSAID (rimadyl) he is almost 100%. Poor little man got his first walk in a week this morning. He weighs a svelte 11.5 pounds. Isn’t is something what we sign up for when we rescue the little boogers?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      O, indeed. Buy the ticket, take the ride. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

      Glad to hear El Duffo is back on the hoof. He’s about Miss Mia’s size; the Turk goes more like 15 pounds, which is a bit much for his arthritic hips. He gets a dose of cosequin every morning and a hit of Miralax, too. He’s as full of shit as I am but has more difficulty expelling it.

  2. Tony Geller Says:

    “And today she attended the local Donks’ 2020 ward meeting (she is a precinct chairperson and narrowly escaped sentencing to the pre-primary convention).” Mine not so lucky. She’s a member of the State Central Committee (Sounds like something that goes with the picture from the previous entry) which is automatically invited. I’m the lucky one to get the inside dope on the (dis)function of the state party. Sadly all conversations are off the record.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      “Politics ain’t beanbag,” as the fella says. It’s another kind of bag altogether. And taking a peek inside isn’t recommended for the faint of heart (or stomach).

      I’ve had some small experience with party politics, but since I don’t exactly work and play well with others (shocking, I know) I find it best to stand on the sidelines and shout helpful advice in words of three or four letters each.

  3. Hurben Says:

    Just get her to slap some hot wax strips on that there dome & then rip them off

  4. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    How hard is a haircut on a bald guy? Really. I bought an electric gizmo (Here they call ’em “beard trimmer/stylers” or something like that) that has a few attachments, but the only two that get used are the hair trimmer (at the zero setting) and the nose/ear circular gizmo. The wife spends maybe 5 minutes buzzing away the silvery fluff that passes for hair on my 65 year-old noggin every few weeks while I take care of the rest. I’ve even sheared the fluff off myself a time or two with the help of some mirrors so I don’t miss anything in the back. As PO’B likes to say: easy, sleazy!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Herself is a perfectionist, alas. Also, what hair I have grows in about eleventy-seven different directions, samey same as my beard. She runs the clippers over my dome for the better part of quite some time and then a day or so later spots some long sumbitch she overlooked, sticking out like one of those FM antennas you used to see attached to cheapo tuners in college dorms. From time to time she threatens me with laser hair removal but I ain’t letting no space alien near me with no zap gun.

      • Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

        Yeah, my wife quite often sees a rogue hair that escaped the clippers the first time – it helps to do the shearing outside in bright sunlight if you can. But what’s the worst – someone sees a stray hair and thinks you’re an old-fart? Been there, done that, don’t care. I can buy quite a few nice bottles of wine with the money not spent on haircuts by barbers each year 🙂

      • khal spencer Says:

        Sounds familiar. I can’t just go to the cheapo haircuts place. Its gotta look really nice. But I guess I only have to look at myself in the mirror once in a while. My better half has to put up with my appearances full time.

  5. John A Levy Says:

    I envy your problem. Still have a full head of hair. about $40 bucks every couple,of months to keep it from looking like something out of the old testament aka prophet. , problem is odd hairs in weird places like cartilage i.e.ears nose and the back my old bones can’t reach. but everybody else notices and asks don’t you groom? arghh getting older shouldn’t suck this much!!!

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I don’t mind not having hair. Saves me a ton of dough on hair-care products and barbers.

      Anyway, it’s my own fault. I used it all up when I was a hippie. Grew all the hair, took all the dope. Now I got no hair and no dope. Shoot, I don’t even take Advil for anything less than a missing limb or sucking chest wound.

  6. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    Grooming’s for dogs and horses. And these days it’s the upside-down head people. Worse than the f–king man-bun, these bozos shave all the perfectly good hair off their heads and grow a silly-looking beard on their chin. I wanna grab their heads and turn them right-side up!!! WTF?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      The Neckbeard Tribe? Yeah, not a good look for most dudes. They look like medieval jailers, or All-Star wrestlers circa 1969 or so.

      I always liked George Carlin’s quip about white guys who shave their heads. “You wanna be bald?” he says. “Do what I did. Wait a while. Meantime, there’s no excuse for running around looking like a freshly circumcised dick.”

  7. Pat O’Brien Says:

    I don’t use eye drops for dry eyes anymore. Just trim those errant nose hairs and your eyes will moisten up real quick.

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