The only things missing are the man-bun and the ironic facial hair.

No, not him. I’m talking about the famous Hipster Avocado Toast a la Señor Dog of Albuquerque.

The other day I bought a six-pack of avocados to chop into a rough salsa for a batch of chipotle-honey chicken tacos. This proved to be about four too many, so there you have it. The bread is a robust whole-wheat number from the Toastmaster Bread Box recipe booklet.

It seems a good day to crouch behind the parapets, nibbling tasty bits and dodging dispatches from the Bananas Republic. This just in: GOP sticks fingers in ears and goes “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA,” how the Donks will fuck this up, everybody hates everybody else, etc., et al., and so on and so forth.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does the 24/7 news cycle. Happily, we still have a couple avocados left.

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5 Responses to “Toast”

  1. Pat O'Brien Says:

    See, you are smart.

  2. Hurben Says:


    some Duct tape, one of these:

    And some application of a Sharpy & you’re good to go.

  3. SAO' Says:

    We currently have the exact same avocado problem, times three. Ordering groceries for delivery mostly, because we have a frequent visitor who just had open heart surgery and has to drive 3 hours from Nebraska to Loveland or Fort Fun for most of his follow-up appointments. And my wife would just as soon not add “dad dies from COVID” to the bummer list that is 2020. So we’re in lock-down mode. But my feeble brain can’t keep the King Soopers, Costco, and Sprouts orders straight in my head, and all of the guac ingredients were on sale, so I wound up triple-ordering. Last night was guac with chili, avocado toast for breakfast, probably a chicken club sandwich with avocado spread for lunch …

    Worse problems to have, I guess.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Oof. My man Charles Pelkey has to do likewise, motoring from Laramie to Fort Fun and back for checkups. Best wishes to the dad-in-law for a strong recovery.

      And yes, mos def worser problems than too many avocados. After yesterday’s avocado toast we had a guacamole appetizer ahead of last night’s turkey chili, a combo we will repeat come lunch this afternoon. I always cook with leftovers in mind — we got three or four meals out of those slow-cooker tacos.

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