I am not a senile old fool.
Anyone who suggests otherwise is simply taking a cheap political shot, hoping to stop me from serving another term as Your Humble Narrator here at whatever the hell it is that we, or you, or I am doing at this whatchamacallit, the thing. The … bog? You know.
Now, it’s true that I may occasionally stare blankly at my iPhone, the way that monkey did at the glossy black rectangle in that movie — c’mon, you know the one — because the nice lady on the phone asked me for my phone number and I’m trying to look it up in Settings without hanging up on her because hey, I never call myself. Do you?
Hello? Hello?
Shit.
But I can assure you that while I’m pawing helplessly at that glossy black rectangle I no longer make the plaintive hooting sound. Like the monkey. The one in the movie. You know, where the bone turns into a spaceship and Siri or Alexa or Elon is trying to kill everyone and the young guy in the spaceship turns into an old guy in a Home who can’t remember his phone number? Is it HAL9000? No?
I do? I’m making it right now? I’m sure you’re mistaken. Whoever you are. Ook ook ook.
And sometimes I may forget who the president is, but only because I’m pretty sure it’s not the Red Skull or Pumpkinhead or Dick Tater, whatever the crazy orange fella’s called, the one who looks like a giant circus peanut with beady little eyes like a big fat rat with a mouth like an asshole and is always in the news because he keeps doing stupid shit and getting caught at it but nobody seems to be able to put him in jail and somehow they all think the other fella is the problem because he can’t remember who the King of the Moon is or the name of that movie with the monkey who can’t remember his phone number or how to find it in that big black iPhone that the Space Baby left somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, where the bones turn into Great Red Sharks driven through Bat Country by Hunter S. Thompson to Las Vegas, where an infinite number of monkeys are writing “Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’24.”
Anyway, whoever’s president now seems to be a little quieter and more laid back and I don’t have to think about him all the goddamn time and I kind of like that because it’s restful and I seem to need a lot of naps lately. Like right now.
Mad Blog Media 
Uncle Joe is doing alright for now. Like you said, he’s steady and predictable. No drama there. But, later this year we should all be voting for vice president.
Tell me again why am I here at your pickle barrel again. Must be that old soft drink machine loaded with Shiner Bock. It only costs 10 cents if you can get it out of the maze. But, there is this song I’m learning.
“Drama.” We need a good deal less of that from special counsels with their Republican thumbs on the scale, the media, and the other bedwetters soiling the national discourse.
Paul Krugman wrote an excellent piece the other day about an hourlong chat he had with Joe.
Kevin Drum suggests that nobody else who has gotten similar time with the prez seems to think he’s gone soft between the ears.
Finally, James Fallows reminds us that Biden is a lifelong stutterer, which obviously keeps his speech a step or two behind his thoughts.
I would prefer a president who’s younger than either of the two major-party candidates. But only one of them has the chops and the time on the job. The choice remains pretty friggin’ obvious.
Yeah. Who is coming up through the ranks who is suitable for The Big Job. The GOP has abdicated leadership to a clown bus. I’m still not convinced I like any of the Dems who think they should have the job. As we said in my old Geology Dept. at the U of Hawaii about the department chair position–anyone who actually wants the job should not be allowed to have it.
The bench isn’t that deep, is it? For either team.
All of this reminds me of Being There. Chauncey Gardener for President. Oh, and it did take me a bit to remember the name of the movie. Now what was the name of the movie?
Which movie? Say, who is this, anyway? Nurse! Someone’s peed in my pants … again.
The report by Special Counsel Robert Hur is sort of like being issued a warning ticket (with no fine) by a cop, who goes on to write down all of the things he distains about your appearance, speech, demeanor, and vehicle in the margins of the document. Mr. Hur is a Trump appointee and a Republican party contributor; this is his in-kind contribution to the Trump campaign. I think he is gunning for the AG cabinet post in the next Trump reich. Dale in Hill-Dwelling America (MO)
Yeah, it’s another “But her emails” deal thanks to a stacked special-counsel deck. Kevin Drum claims there’s never been a Dem special counsel yet. The Dems pick a Repug to show impartiality, and the Repugs pick a Repug because, well … they’re Repugs. I don’t know that he’s right, but Kevin’s a pretty smart fella who does his research. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest.
Looks like to me we will have unacceptable candidates in with major parties. Third party, anyone. And what was the point of that movie. Don’t throw bones in the air. Or don’t trust artificial intelligence? It will take over and lock you out. Or was it trying to save the world?
I’ve gone outside the two-party system before: Socialists, Communists, Libertarians, Ross Perot (it was a political-science experiment; I just wanted to see what would happen if he actually won, plus Bill Clinton gave me the creeps).
Thing is, no third party has anything like a base from which to govern, and I don’t see any of them gearing up to get serious about building a party structure that puts people in legislatures, governors’ offices, the House, Senate, etc. They always focus on The Big Chair. So if a Perot were to actually win the presidency, The Big Two would just sit on their hands for four years or impeach/convict the interloper. Either way, s/he would accomplish exactly jack-shit and get the heave-ho in one term or less.
You think we got paralysis now with one party chucking monkey wrenches into the gears? Wait until they’re both doing it. C-SPAN would become must-see TV.
If either Biden or Trump win the election we probably will not have a country by 2028. Worse than mere paralysis.
Well, we’d best start prepping for 2028, then, because unless one of these guys cacks before Nov. 7, that’s where we’re headed. All a third-party type can do at this late date is tip it one way or the other. Matt Welch at Reason sees Dick Tater getting the most oomph from whatever votes the alternative candidates can pick up.
We have been in paralysis for over 20 years. Congress is the problem. With that said, the difference between the “geezers” that are running is one values the constitution and the other thinks he can suspend it, his words not mine, for his benefit. I choose the constitution. Besides that, I went somewhere in 1970 because my family wasn’t rich enough to get a doctor to write a bullshit bone spur letter for me. So were over 50,000 other guys. My brother once told me I wouldn’t vote for orange julius because I hate him. I replied that I didn’t hate him, but if I saw him on fire across the street I would not cross over to piss on him.
So much of what we call “government” is strictly performance art for an elite clientele. Making a scene instead of making legislation. They get theirs, and boy, do we ever get ours. Media consolidation means we have fewer people deciding which scenes we get to see most often.
When everything is entertainment, what gets taken seriously? I first started fretting about this when people like Pat Paulsen were “running for president.” When more people were watching “The West Wing” than were watching their city councils I got a bad case of The Fear. Now that every jagoff with a laptop and an Internet connection is an “analyst” (Your Humble Narrator included) it could be all over save the shouting, of which there will be plenty.
Still, this is the game we’ve agreed to play, and it’s either play or tip over the board and start afresh somehow. I’m not sure how that would work out for us.
No matter who wins, we will see gridlock because Congress has abdicated its third of government to either court decisions or executive orders and then pisses and moans about both. A lot of the clowns in Congress think their job is performance asshattery rather than governing.
I’m not fond of either party any more but if Dick Tater wins, we are really in a world of shit. Biden at least respects process and Constitutional norms. I just hope he remains lucid for four years and that both parties return to the idea of governing and putting up candidates who don’t sound batshit crazy. Maybe we need to go back to the smoke filled rooms instead of primaries where people think they win by farting their armpits the loudest.
And as you say, O’G, a third party candidate will likely not win but perhaps throw the Presidential election to D T if not into the House, which really will result in the inmates running the asylum.
I’m probably biased thanks to all my years in Bibleburg, but I think the GOP is too far gone to come back. It’s a cult that needs to be eradicated, root and branch, rendered impotent, consigned to fringe-party status until it vanishes from memory like a fever dream. Real conservatives can and should grow a pair, start over under a new label, armed with actual theory and practice instead of bad comedy, and make a case for why their ideas are sensible. The left doesn’t have all the answers.
The election’s gonna be a real rodeo. I hope Biden has a food taster and a righteous SS detail.
I tend to agree the GOP is too far gone and should be euthanized. I read stuff from folks like Jonah Goldberg, Tom Nichols, David French, Charlie Sykes (who just killed his Bulwark podcast, which Meena faithfully listened to), and the folks at The Dispatch. But as Jonathan Goldberg says, they are a remnant. I think conservatives do have to form a new party. Probably pick up some conservative Dems who have been run out of the tent such as Manchin and Sinema, too. If Jack Kemp was not dead, he would fit right in.
Meanwhile, not all Progressive ideas pass the laugh test and not all progressives are progressives. Some, at least in the legislature, are just plain dumb as a box of rocks. They just wear the correct color hat.
I’m just not sure a new conservative party would survive childbirth. The deck is stacked by the two party system, even when one or both of the two parties are out to lunch. They have the power and the money and the eejits all corralled. What ever happened to the idea of thoughtful politicians? Both parties had a lot of them. Of course, there might have been a time when the average citizen didn’t get his/her/their news from a self-serving web site read on a smart phone or vote based on who won the Armpit Fart Contest. Walter Cronkite, phone home….
Bob Moore, 94. Everything in our pantry is either King Arthur (employee owned) or Red Mill.
Guess I’m making scones in the morning.
https://katu.com/news/local/bob-moore-of-bobs-red-mill-global-grain-legacy-pioneer-dies-at-94
Sad news indeed, though 94 is a pretty good run. We’re like you folks — everything in the DogHaus is either Bob’s Red Mill or King Arthur. I have favored McCann’s Irish Oatmeal but they’ve made some class of a change in their product that makes it less hearty and I’ve been contemplating a switch to Bob’s. I do have a big ol’ sack of his müesli on hand so we’ll be breakfasting on that this morning.
Bob’s Red Mill Steel Cut, sometimes called pin oats, starred in our breakfast this morning. Bob’s Red Mill Thick Rolled oats also make a frequent appearance. Feel the same about King Arthur flour and Taylor guitars, both employee owned companies. Taylor included the Mexico factory and employees in the plan. That is special!
Both good companies. King Arthur rules this house and Queen Red Mill close behind.
The dude who is currently prez just got all of the major sports leagues to spend some of their tax-free income (they’re all non-profits, dontcha know) on helping average kids stay healthy.
Having trouble thinking about the orange fella recommending exercise to anyone. You’d have to do Simone Biles style mental flips to wrap your brain around that.
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/02/08/fact-sheet-the-biden-harris-administration-announces-historic-partnership-with-major-sports-leagues-and-players-unions/
The orange fella pays other people to exercise for him. Mostly lawyers. Then he stiffs them and finds new suckers.
That’s the movie with all the spaceships dancing to Strauss, wasn’t it?
Bah bah bah bah bah … bah bah, bah bah. … and no spaceship noises either, because in space, nobody can hear you scream, or punch it into lightspeed.
Yeah I’m a Clarke fan, I have the whole series, The Sentinel and Other Short Stories, 2001, 2010, 2030, 3001…
New ABC poll shows 86 per cent thinks Biden is too old to run for reelection and 59 per cent think Trump is too old.
Maybe time to rip up the constitution and start over. It is also too old and does not function well. Appears that everyone dislikes it for different reasons, e.g. second amendment, electoral college, composition of the senate, etc.. HAL9000 would disregard it and take control. That may be the future of humans. AI.
Giant Meteor, 2024.
I hate to think of what a new constitution would look like if modern day American politicians wrote it. Probably would be best done with crayons.
https://thehill.com/changing-america/enrichment/education/3640520-less-than-half-of-americans-can-name-all-three-branches-of-government-survey-finds/
The original was not perfect but at least it was written by people who could think their way out of a paper bag. And it has lasted a heck of a long time. But it seems authoritarianism is spreading across the globe. “Give me my bread and circus and I don’t care about the rest”.