Category: Assholes

Poachers

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments

Continuing with our food theme, we consider the tale of three hungry fellas who got busted for boiling a pair of chickens in one of the geothermal features at Yellowstone National Park.

What, there wasn’t a Chik-fil-A in that neck of the peckerwoods? The National Park Service must be too busy kowtowing to the e-bike lobby to take care of important business. When Bubba has to boil his own birds at a campout, goddamnit all to hell anyway, the terrorists win.

Anyway, it proved a pricey meal. According to The Guardian, the three were banned from the park and received fines ranging from $540 to $1,250, plus probation.

And two did a short stretch in the stony lonesome, where the dining is anything but al fresco and the menu less inventive.

Boo-zo the Clown

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 3 Comments
The Thing on the Doorstep.
On the way out, we may hope.

This is the scariest Halloween I can remember.

Thank Cthulhu so many people voted early. Only the Great Old Ones know what the sluggards are likely to do come Tuesday, as they crash hard from Saturday’s sugar frenzy followed by Sunday’s end to daylight saving time. Probably cast write-in votes for Mars-Wrigley, the Dread Lord of Type-2 Diabetes, or worse, Darth Cheney.

One thing seems pretty certain, though. If we don’t punt the Not-So-Great Pumpkin off the national porch next week, Halloween 2021 will be even scarier. Boogity-boogity-boogity.

He’s not just a Good Old One. He’s a Great Old One.

The Four Horses’ Asses of the Apocalypse

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 11 Comments
It’s all downhill from here, fellas.

A neighbor rang our doorbell a few minutes ago to advise us that the Cowboys for Trump were parading down Comanche, practically dancing in our laps.

Naturally, I grabbed the iPhone, hopped on a bike, and rolled out to collect a few memories.

I’m told that there were four riders on horseback leading the thing. I suppose the irony eludes them, as do many other things.

Including that they inspired my neighbor to drop everything and go vote — for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

Fly-Pence 2024?

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments
Hat tip to the inimitable B. Kliban.

“Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects … don’t have politics. They’re very … brutal. No compassion, no compromise.” — Seth Brundle, “The Fly”

I ain’t buying it

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments

Step right up, everyone’s a winner, bargains galore. …

There is no reason in the world to believe a single, solitary word that comes out of this guy’s fat yap.

And every reason in the world to believe that a “diagnosis” does him more than a few favors.

So until I see something more than “Trump said,” it’s no sale.

• Housekeeping note: WordPress has decided to impose its new block editor on those of us who had been resisting the change. So expect a few hitches in the gitalong here at the Chuckle Hut until I find the Rosetta Stone for this fucker or find some alternative method of bloggery.