Hm, lessee here:
• “Glitches prevent $1,200 stimulus checks from reaching millions.” (WaPo).
• “Small businesses in despair as fund for government aid runs out.” (NYT)
• “Trump’s ‘Open our country council’ runs into its own opening problems.” (NYT)
• “Clusterfuck: a complex and utterly disordered and mismanaged situation : a muddled mess.” (Merriam-Webster)
Reg: I now propose that all seven of these ex-brothers be now entered in the minutes as probationary martyrs to the cause.
Loretta: I second that, Reg.
Reg: Thank you, Loretta. On the nod. Siblings! Let us not be downhearted! One total catastrophe like this is just the beginning!
• Editor’s note: My sense of humor briefly deserted me yesterday. But I think I should get off with crucifixion (first offense).
Well, I’d say this ought to park the mythical Moderate Republican right alongside Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and the Easter Bunny.
It won’t, of course. But it should.
Good God almighty. A skeleton has more guts than this lot.
The Lord High Mayor of Slobbiton, Douche Baggins, addressed the people this fair morn.
He announced that Iran “appears to be standing down,” and declared that Slobbiton stood ready “to embrace peace with all who seek it,” especially if they happen to be porn stars (there’s nothing like embracing a piece of a porn star).
He also denied rumors that Slobbiton would resume conscripting young Slobbitonians for its various misadventures abroad, adding that even if such an order were to be issued, it would be easily dodged.
“Trust me,” he said with a knowing wink. “I ran, and you can too.”
Mad Blog Media 