OK, I think I’ve got this whole Ted Cruz/five women thing figured out:
• One to sprinkle pepper on his crotch.
• One to listen for the poor little thing to sneeze.
• One to locate it through the magnifying glass.
• One to grab it with the tweezers.
• And, of course, one to leak the whole sordid tale to the National Enquirer.
Mad Blog Media 
You are sooooo bad. That is funny stuff right there.
The innertubes are excited about Birdie Sanders.
That Birdie Sanders is some funny stuff too. Herself was marveling at it last night while I reheated the green chile stew.
Lord, the tree pollen is mur-der today. I feel like I got et by a coyote and shit off a cliff into a lake of boogers.
How the hell am I going to get that picture out of my mind before lunch! A lake of boogers? Thanks buddy!
The mulberries are leafing out and their pollen counts are down. So we are doing a little better. But we have a fire to the East, that may smoke us up if the wind changes.
I should have said “The innertubes are all a twitter over Bernie’s little bird.”
Micro slam! Cool.
Like Bill Maher, I almost feel sorry for Rethuglicans these days…except I don’t. Their generally small minds seem perfect for candidates who argue about the size of their wieners and whose wife is “hotter”. Meanwhile, everyone who is not insane should vote for Billary in November…or just stay home and get drunk.