A Royal Flush, or Circling the Bowl

Goddamnit, this one will not go down!

What a week. And we’re only at Tuesday.

On Monday, the Donks intercoursed the penguin most savagely with an Iowa caucus that resembled nothing so much as the Batley Townswomens’ Guild’s re-enactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbor, only without the funny bits.

Come Tuesday, we got a twofer: First, the Senate “debating” whether to remove King Donald the Short-fingered from his golden throne; and the State of the Union Address, which seems certain to be even less funny than the Senate, the Iowa caucus, and the Batley Townswomens’ Guild.

And come Wednesday, His Lardship will skate on all charges, have Stephanie Grisham squeegee all those senatorial lip prints off his fat ass, and get back to wiping it with the world.

As if all this weren’t bad enough, well, I bring still more evil tidings — yes, yes, yes, it’s time for more political-science fiction from the K-9 Caucus at Radio Free Dogpatch!

Gosh. Whatever will Thursday bring? And News Dump Friday is gonna have to up its game big-time if it wants to keep being more than just another day of the week.

P L A Y    R A D I O    F R E E    D O G P A T C H

• Technical notes: This episode was recorded with a Shure SM58 microphone and a Zoom H5 Handy Recorder, then edited in Apple’s GarageBand on the 13-inch 2014 MacBook Pro. Post-production voodoo by Auphonic. The background music is “The Throne Room” from Sir Cubworth, via the YouTube Audio Library. The golf shot and crowd noise come from craigsmith at Freesound.org. Clock ticking and alarm ringing are straight from the iMovie sound-effects bin. And the sound of the world swirling down the loo? That comes straight from the guest bath at El Rancho Pendejo.

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5 Responses to “A Royal Flush, or Circling the Bowl”

  1. pablo Says:

    can ya do close captioning…. difficult to hear ya….old and deef

  2. Herb from Michigan Says:

    For a guy who claims he doesn’t golf you sure got the lingo down. Trevino!? And it’s true that not even God can hit a one iron. And for sure I’d vote for that black messiah’s wife over anyone now in the campaign. Only she is way too smart to run.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I must confess, I committed golf in my misspent youth. The parents were avid golfers and inflicted lessons on me and my sis. They didn’t take.

      However, I did develop an interest in miniature golf in “high” school (great fun on mescaline, psilocybin, or the L-S-Dizzy). And when I was still a drinking man, working for a Denver chain of weeklies, another staffer and I got slightly ale’d up a time or two and went out to play speed golf, wrapping up with some time on the driving range, aiming for the ball collector in his little cart and/or expensive cars in the parking lot.

  3. Larry T. atCycleItalia Says:

    I wonder what the anti-Trump PAC’s will come up with for TV spots? They’ve got so much material to work with but where do they start? How ’bout with golf? Put his rants about Obama’s playing too much of the game over video of his hacking away at various courses along with graphics pointing out how many days/hours Don the Con’s wasted on the links and how much the taxpayers spent on ’em.
    Next how ’bout a video compilation of all the women he’s accused of assaulting (or merely leering at) with graphics showing the payoffs, etc? A list of his failed biz ventures could be next followed by his crooked charity and tax issues. The possibilities are (sadly) endless!!!! No matter who the Donk’s put up against Donnie this “vote for the lesser of two evils” choice should be clear…but you know what my wife says………

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I would say something new or clever. But, I ain’t got nothing. I’m getting off this gloomy go round.

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