Maybe what we need is a Maglite/Clorox death ray. Let’s ask the aliens for the loan of one next time they pop round to butt-probe a hillbilly.

“And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute — one minute — and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning?” he asked. “Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that.”

Jesus, this guy is dumb. Dumber than a bag of sunsplashed hammers. Dumber than a sack of freshly bleached hair. A few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

Sure thing, Dr. Demento. Let’s all mainline some Clorox, with tactical flashlights up our keisters. You go first.


29 Responses to “Blech!”

  1. Stan Thomas Says:

    I heard in passing that some dumb ass trouble-maker had suggested shooting-up on bleach to kill the virus. Ok, just another comedian on the Interweb promoting a little natural selection. Then I looked and saw it was the dumb ass trouble-maker in chief. The US put men on the moon, how the hell did you guys vote this fool into office? And, more to the point, why does it seem likely there’s another four years of this?

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Quoth Brother Pierce: “We should probably talk more often about how the president is an insane moron.”

      The only sane leader I’ve heard of recently runs New Zealand. Let’s all move there! Hurben? We promise not to vote. …

      • Hurben Says:

        Y’all be welcome, as opposed to all the American Billionaires that are buying bolt holes in the South Island..

        Anzac day is winding down here, normally we’d have parades & services but this year due to the lockdown we all practised Social Distancing & stood at our gates with candles at dawn.

        Went for a walk later & lots of home made poppies on fences & in yards.

        Sort of felt nice

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          Thanks, Hurben. We’ll try to leave all the billionaires in Our Gang at home.

          Sometimes the quiet remembrances are best.

        • Pat O'Brien Says:

          Peace Hurben. Hope those sandal tan lines are still there. As soon as we get all the non-violent folks out of our prisons, we will have room to stash our billionaires. Then we will come down and walk about the neighborhood with you. Say, you don’t play the guitar do you? Patrick and I can bring ours with us.

    • Shawn in the Gorge Says:

      “how the hell did you guys vote this fool into office? And, more to the point, why does it seem likely there’s another four years of this?”

      I agree. What the hell is wrong with us? Our jobs now are to find one person who voted for “what” is now in the office and convince them to not make the same choice in November; and then to make sure that we encourage young voters who may not have voted before to do so now. They need to know that this is not a game and it is not acceptable to just say “I’m not going to bother to vote because…”.

      Now excuse me because I have a couple of conservative relatives that I need to schmoooz….

  2. Pat O'Brien Says:


  3. khal spencer Says:

    Dumber than a box of rocks. Wouldn’t know how to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. Etc.

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

    I think a firehose enema might flush the virus out of the dumpster. What do we have to lose?

  5. matlinp Says:

    One dose is all you will need. Plus, your corpse will be COVID-19 free. As seen on TV and endorsed by Dr. Drumpf.

  6. Dale Says:

    Perhaps a good round of bleach drinks and Lysol injections will cleanse the body politic.

  7. John Crenshaw Says:

    No pills or injections required. Existing technology – inhalers, nebulizers and ventilators – would quickly and thoroughly coat nasal and throat passages and especially the alveoli of the lungs in a refreshing prophylactic mist. If Trump’s so smart, why didn’t he think of that?!

  8. tjf Says:

    My Big Fat Trump Wedding

  9. Jon Paulos Says:

    Did you hear that John Forester died? Mister Effective Cycling.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      O, indeed. Khal S. made mention of it earlier, and Carlton Reid wrote him up over at Forbes.

      I’m always wary of evangelists, so I didn’t follow his career and arguments closely. As a Boomer I grew up cycling in the streets, but that was a very different world, and today I can see an argument for the separated bike path, especially as a venue for noobs to learn the ropes.

      Of course, that may be the consequence of cyclists not fighting for their share of the streets before it was too late.

      Cycling scribe Pat Malach also went west on us. We did a little work together Back in the Day® at that Boulder-based journal of competitive cycling whose name eludes me, when I was chasing commas around the website and he was cranking up his freelance career.

      Sadly, I don’t believe we ever met in person; judging by the explosion of grief online, he seems to have been one of a kind. We need more Pat Malachs, not fewer. R.I.P.

      • khal spencer Says:

        That Peter Flax interview from last year has been reposted at Bicycling in its entirely. I linked to it here:

      • khal spencer Says:

        From that Cycling News report, it sounds like Pat died in the saddle but there is no explanation. O’G, do you have any inside scoop?

        Seeing someone ten years our junior hit the Celestial Parachute on a bicycle is a little rattling.

        • Patrick O'Grady Says:

          I’ve not been able to find a cause of death. Alas, I’ve known a few folks who hopped that Train to Glory without showing any of the usual signs or symptoms.

          One simply fell off his bike one day, stone cold dead in the middle of a ride. You never know when your ticket will get punched.

          • This just in: A friend in the know says it seems Pat just drifted off at home, same as Adventure Cyclist honcho Mike Deme, another of the good ones. No drama, says my friend: “It was sudden, and he is gone way too early.”

    • Shawn in the Gorge Says:

      I believe I read some of Forester’s stuff sometime in the past. I’m a similar proponent of the shared use philosophy and assert my use of riding on streets and roadways. But I ride as a car when doing so.

      I do appreciate when separate pathways are created, but when safety is an issue or practicality of design is poor, I will use the roadway lane to travel in. Many years ago a friend of mine in Alaska and I discussed the issue of bike paths created in the Fairbanks area. Once permafrost began to afflict them, and with little to no maintenance from the state highway department, in many places the bike paths weren’t safe to ride on at more than about 10 mph. My friend understood the “take the bikes off the roadways” philosophy of bike path design and explained to me the consequences. Fortunately more people are riding now and are conscientious voters insuring that use of the roadways will likely continue to be an option.

      Khal: You mentioned many times that you were in Hawaii riding and racing. I went to school there in 1984 (UofH Manoa) and raced a little bit. I really enjoyed a quick training ride up and over Tantalus. Somewhere around I still have a race schedule from my time there. Although I was a starving student in the days of tubulars with only one set of wheels, It was a good time.

      • khal spencer Says:

        Hi Shawn! How long were you in Paradise?

        I arrived in Honolulu in October of 1987 to take a job in the Geology Dept. at UHM that I thought was a way station to elsewhere. Well, the department and I both grew to like each other (not to mention, I met a girl in Hawai’i) and that ride lasted till 2001, when we (that “meet a girl” turned into a marriage) got offers we couldn’t refuse at Los Alamos.

        The first thing I discovered on moving to Hawaii and unpacking the bicycle was the Pali Loop from UH Manoa heading downtown, over the Pali Hwy, and back to town via Waimanalo and Hawaii Kai. I started riding the Hawaii Bicycling League centuries in 1988 and got to know a technician in the geology dept who was racing with the Oahu Cycling Team out of The Bike Way bike shop down on Ward Ave. I started pinning on numbers with OCT in 1990. Ray Brust and Tony Gill are the only two teammates whose names I remember right now but it was a very good team at the time. Ray was a regular state road champion.

        It did not take too long for me (and my teammates) to come to the realization that I was no Bernard Hinault, so I migrated to bicycling advocacy in about 1993, coinciding with a bad case of patellar tendinitis in both knees that knocked me off the bike for a while. After my knees healed I mostly rode for fun or to get back and forth between UH Manoa and the house in Hawaii Kai. It was all great fun!

        I do recall the Tantalus loop fondly. It was so close to Manoa that several of us from geosciences routinely hit that loop after work. On Tuesdays it was a regular training loop for most of the USCF teams. I wonder if the Tantalus Time Trial is still going strong.

        I think the high point of my racing career was the year I did the Dick Evans and finished mid-pack. Hawai’i was good!

        • Shawn in the Gorge Says:

          I was in Hawaii for about a year. One semester over on the Big Island in Hilo and then the second semester in Honolulu so that I could race – I had just bought my first race bike, a Bianchi Campione del Mondo. Although racing was great, I should have stayed on the Big Island – I’d probably still be there now. I remember the Bike Way. I think I bought a couple of economical tubulars from them (Clement Futurox?).

          I don’t recall any of the names of people I raced with, although I do remember one talented racer that had the record up Tantalus. Apparently around that time he had pedaled one of the pedal-start motorcycles unaided by the motor to the top.

          As for my racing, I was a rookie with a lot of desire. My first road race I initiated the break and then died off the break later. The winner came up and thanked me for kicking off things and asked why I didn’t stay with them… Ahh, talent but no training. My first race was around the palace for 5 laps (Cat 4). Five of us sprinted for the win and then discovered that the race was extended to 6 laps (We should have paid attention to the bell). We discovered our folly after half of the field had passed us and were too far behind to make the catch.

          I don’t recall the Dick Evans. I’ll have to check out my old race schedule to see if it was on there.

          Highpoint of riding over in Hawaii: Getting up early in the morning – Riding down to the airport – Getting on a flight to Maui – Riding up Haleakala – Returning to the airport after a modest afternoon lunch – Flying back to Honolulu and then riding home.

        • JD Dallager Says:

          Wow! Flashback! Dragnet: “The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
          Joe Friday: This is the city: Los Angeles, California. I work here. I’m a bike racer.” Modified and plagiarized to protect the innocent. 🙂

        • khal spencer Says:

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