‘Bigger even than I had feared’

Flush twice, it’s a long way to the Commission on Presidential Debates.

The headline is taken from the 1978 Thomas McGuane novel “Panama.”

Chet Pomeroy, a performer on the skids whose act has included, among lesser spectacles, crawling out of the ass of a frozen elephant in his underwear to fight a duel with a baseball batting-practice machine, is stalking his ex-girlfriend Catherine Clay through the aisles of a Key West grocery.

She clocks him, he asks to use the bathroom, and … well, just read the book. It’s a lot more entertaining and informative, and at its most outrageous less grotesque, than last night’s “debate.”

Not even McGuane the essayist could’ve covered that raree-show, assuming he could resurrect his long-dead alter ego of Captain Berserko. Hunter S. Thompson might have managed, even participated, but sadly he is no longer with us.

It may have been the single worst thing I have ever invited into my home, and that is a fierce competition indeed. Miss Mia Sopaipilla blew a hairball. I dreamed of Nazis. Herself told me first thing this morning that CNN’s Dana Bash had called it “a shitshow,” which I thought generous and profoundly understated.

Still, I’m glad to see the mainstream media has finally copped on, albeit a trifle late. McGuane had it figured out back in 1971, when Bash was born, seven years before he would publish “Panama.”

Queried about his politics by comrade Jim Harrison, as part of a faux interview for the literary magazine Sumac, McGuane replied thusly:

“I suppose I am a bit left of Left. America has become a dildo that has turned berserkly on its owner.”

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16 Responses to “‘Bigger even than I had feared’”

  1. khal spencer Says:

    Race you to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, O’G.

  2. Jon Paulos Says:

    I can’t remember where I read it, but a commentator said sometime back that the mainstream media continues to assume that King Donald the Short Fingered behaves according to “the rules”, and they are continually unprepared and surprised when he doesn’t. Maybe this will finally wake them up. I mean really, how hard is it to give the moderator a switch to shut off each candidate’s microphone as needed? Imagine the next debate if that happened. Don the Con would start to mouth off out of turn and would abruptly be shut off. Would he explode? Would he turn a brighter shade of artificial orange? Would he stomp off the stage and tweet about how he got screwed? I’d watch to see.

  3. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Well I would nix
    turning off the mic. Should use mega volt tasers on those who blurt out and interrupt . Leave mic ON so we can hear the sumbitch scream.

  4. John A Levy Says:

    Mi espousa is talking to the New Zealand consulate about the two year residency visa. I considering to actually look at the material. I am hoping against hope that we “mericans will wake up vote Trump and his republican tools into the streets and gutters. Then do the bolshevik thing as in the russian revolution. Another debate is a waste of time, the skunk has sprayed time to remove the varmit.
    as a true patriot once said ” I fear for the republic.”

    • Pat O'Brien Says:

      It is scary to think a Mad Dog fan is contemplating bailing out, even though we have joked about here since the con man moved into the white house. Hurben even offered to let us camp in his back yard if we brought our own beer, and enough to share. In case we all missed it, they just signed a continuing resolution last might, and hour late, so the feds can pay their bills until Dec 11th. Our government not at work.

      • B Lester Says:

        Just read an article arguing in favor of getting rid of the filibuster. I might have to agree that getting things done, even with a double edged sword, might be better than the gridlock we’ve had for too long now.

        • khal spencer Says:

          Heh. Although the filibuster has been used to bad purpose many times, there are some occasions when having the government do nothing is better than having it do something. For example, when it passed the DOMA.

          • Pat O’Brien Says:

            Or the 2006 PAEA law. Wanna see some real financial mayhem? Don’t increase the debt ceiling and let the USA default on it’s debt. Not likely because that is how repub tax cuts are funded- debt. All $1.7 trillion of the latest tax cut.

  5. JD Says:

    Sorry…..but the TV image at the top of this blog episode triggered some out-of-this-world thoughts. Please see: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/nasa-is-launching-an-experimental-dollar23-million-toilet-to-the-space-station-on-thursday-but-its-designers-worry-its-too-stinky/ar-BB19m8tM?li=BBnb7Kz

    Hmmmmm…..that gives me another idea!!! 🙂

  6. SAO' Says:

    Been reading comments from visitors to this country who are just in shock at how we are acting. “It was all one big lie” applies to pretty much everything you hear.

    Our only hope is that Trump’s people all of a sudden become marginally competent. Their fund-raising quarter ended in September, and they sent out emails this morning dated Sept 31st, asking for a pittance. “Numbers like you’ve never seen,” he keeps saying.

  7. Hurben Says:

    My Australian neighbours are showing their sensitive, caring side, (& I’m full throttle laughing my arse off).


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