Let us spray

What a card.

However will The Mighty Mega NewsHose 9000® pass the time between now and Tuesday, when ’Is Lardship is to journey from Mar-a-Lago to Manhattan to face some long-overdue music?

By jawing frantically with “people familiar with the matter who, like many in Trump’s orbit, spoke on the condition of anonymity to candidly share details of private discussions,” as The Washington Post puts it in a piece about how various minions, knaves, and varlets got caught with their pantaloons around their cankles when the indictment was announced.

A shorter item in The New York Times credits “people familiar with his thinking,” which must be a horrific state of consciousness to inhabit, even for traitors, seditionists, and whores.

The anonymous source is the cost of doing business in this shabby neighborhood, where everyone with even a soupçon of inside info is on the lookout for the cops, stoolies, and other potholes on the road to Advancement.

Musn’t abandon this lame candidate for the glue factory in midstream, no sir. Not until a more viable hoss comes clip-clopping along. We see many horse’s asses but very few complete horses.

Meanwhile, the invaluable Charles P. Pierce reminds us that the real game may be afoot in Georgia, where the charges are liable to carry a tad more weight than an indictment alleging someone was cooking the books in New York.

Writes Brother Pierce:

And, even if the former president* were to win in New York, so what? [Fulton County DA Fani] Willis’ charges are far more serious than [Manhattan DA Alvin] Bragg’s are. In Atlanta, the former president* may be indicted for crimes against the republic, for offenses against the idea of popular democracy. That is also Jack Smith’s brief for the DOJ, an investigation that looms like a giant Dust Bowl cloud behind these state prosecutions. Time has come today, in the immortal words of the Chambers Brothers. There are things to … realize.

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13 Responses to “Let us spray”

  1. SAO' Says:

    What’s bothering me is, in 1865, a sizable portion of this nation had their assess handed to them, and then they spent the next 150 years denying that it happened. When someone says American Exceptionalism, what I hear is contagious delusion. So what percentage of our populace is going to be willing to do stupid and dangerous things in the name of this failed endeavor? It’s non-zero, and after that, the exact percentage doesn’t really matter.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      Well, that’s the nut of it right there. The press did not exactly drape itself in glory covering the 2016 election, but anyone with a third-grade education and a functional sense of morality should’ve been able to figure it out.

      Basically half the country decided the stories about Adolf Twitler were bullshit, or they were OK with his malfeasance. So we have a bigger problem than the ongoing prosecution(s) of one guy.

  2. SAO' Says:

    For the life of me, how did this faction end up with His Lardassedness as their leader and potentially martyr? Wasn’t there a college football quarterback, leggy supermodel, or hair band rocker they could galvanize behind?

    Proportionate voting, ranked voting, all of those systems … they’re never going to take off, because Americans hate math. But a March madness bracket system … we could get behind that. And guys like TFG, they don’t beat anyone head to head, unless somehow they draw a play-in 16 seed in the first round.

    We think voting season is too long, but I think folks would go for a month-long voting season instead of just a singular voting day, via a bracket contest, if it shortened the rest of the voting season. The key would be, not announcing the brackets until the last minute, so folks can’t negatively campaign. They wouldn’t waste $$ attacking any one person because they might not face that opponent until a later round.

  3. katholoch Says:

    Did you do the artwork? Brilliant!

  4. Pat O'Brien Says:

  5. Herb from Michigan Says:

    Lord I hate to point this out but even if tRump khacks off before his medley of court songs ends, we will still be forced to endless news cycles of his off(al)spring. No doubt they will try and grift their way through life after lawyers gut the family fortunes. All I’m hoping for is at least a month of NOT hearing his name…..

    • Pat O’Brien Says:

      Can I get an amen for Brother Herb? Not hearing from the asshole who would be king would be heaven. But, until he and his brats run out of money we are stuck here. He is running for king, not president. And as long as pooty, xi, mbs, and their cronies keep feeding dumpster money to wash, dry, fold, and return, so we are stuck in this groundhog day.

    • Patrick O'Grady Says:

      I don’t think his trouser stains will get his sort of traction. Especially the males. Without Il Douche backing them up they’re a couple six-shooters short of a gunfight.

      But yeah, not hearing that name for a while would be a gift. I’ve been trying hard not to bring it into this little thing of ours.

      Meanwhile, for anyone who just can’t get enough of this story, here’s a roundup from New York magazine’s Intelligencer.

  6. B Lester Says:

    Cheap gags and mounds of snark are most appreciated. Please amplify.

  7. Opus the Poet Says:

    Are they going to schedule his trials all on the same day, and hold him in contempt for whichever one he doesn’t show up for? That may be the only way we make sure he spends at least one night in jail.

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